


Recovery

by phantom_rain



Category: World Wrestling Entertainment
Genre: AU, And angst, Becky is a cop, But some of the fighting is real, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Not Kayfabe Compliant, Sasha still wrestles, Sort Of, because that’s all I’m good at, but ANGST, if that makes sense, kind of
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-17
Updated: 2020-03-22
Packaged: 2021-02-27 14:21:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 21,575
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22288555
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/phantom_rain/pseuds/phantom_rain
Summary: The pain you feel today, is the strength you feel tomorrow.Having been together three years, Sasha knew there would be tests of strength, but never like this. When tragedy strikes, she finds that she must be strong enough for the both of them to have a shot at recovery.
Relationships: Sasha Banks/Becky Lynch | Rebecca Knox
Comments: 19
Kudos: 42





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Things I tell myself not to do; start a new fic when you’re already writing a multi chapter.  
> Things I end up doing; starting a new fic when I’m already writing a multi chapter. Ever have an idea that one leave you alone? This one’s it! Buckle up guys, a hell of a ride awaits :)

It’s a pain unlike anything she has ever felt in her life. Everything is white hot. So hot she almost feels cold. At the same time, while she feels everything, it’s like she feels nothing at all.

_“Status?”_

_“White female. Late twenties early thirties. She’s alive but in bad shape.”_

It’s muffled. Why is she so far away?

The voices around her sound as if they are coming through a tube. She tries desperately to open her eyes, but even that simple act proves to be nearly impossible. 

_“BP is 180/110!”_

_“Heading to the OR!”_

She’s so cold. So fucking cold. And it hurts. God does it fucking hurt. If she could just open her eyes or even open her mouth then maybe, maybe that will be enough to take some of the pain away. 

Why can’t she open her eyes? Why does everyone sound so far away? It’s becoming unbearable. Maybe if she tries to sleep, that’ll make it all go away. 

_“No no no! She’s coding!”_

She can feel herself drifting. Almost as if she is floating through the air on a cloud so no particular destination in mind. Yes, this is better. Much better than the pain. 

_“Stay with me! You’re one of us damnit!”_

Just a little nap. Just one. Just something that’ll last long enough until the pain goes away. She tries to smile but she can’t do that either. Everything feels so fucking heavy. 

_“Lynch, stay with me damn it!”_

It’s easier to fall asleep. That’s what she decides. The voices drift away into a void along with the pain. Falling asleep has never felt so easy. She no longer feels and everything is slowly engulfed into a calm silence. 

She finally has peace.

* * *

The rhythmic cadence on the mat is something she’s heard countless times, but this time, it’s different. The ringing of the bell, the deafening roar, everything is all so different and immediately she feels like her heart is going to leap right out of her chest.

_“Here is your winner!”_

Has everything always been this bright? It’s amazing how she can barely hear the thunderous roar over the sound of her own heart pounding in her ears.

_“And the new Raw Women’s Champion!”_

She is still seated and so focused on controlling her breathing that she barely registers the belt as it’s presented to her. She blinks several times staring intently and getting lost in the way the jewels reflect off the lighting.

_“Sasha Banks!”_

Hearing her name jolts her back to reality as if she has just been doused with cold water. The pounding in her ears is slowly replaced by the familiar roar of a pay per view crowd. Only this time, that reaction is for her. It’s all for her.

She looks up to find the referee patiently reaching for her. Grasping the belt, she is initially shocked at how heavy it is. She stands on wobbly legs and as her wrist is held high, she can only hope that the cameras aren’t picking up on how much she’s shaking.

Sasha barely registers her own theme music being drowned out by the crowd. A familiar sting behind her eyes doesn’t stop her as she stares longingly at the belt. Her belt. A watery laugh from her goes unheard before she raises the title high above her head.

The crowd responds in a way that finally makes her tears fall. After years and years of clawing her way to the top, she’s finally grabbed the brass ring and she never could have imagined that it would feel like this.

Sasha has absolutely no idea how long she spends in the ring. She is just barely aware of her legs carrying her up the ramp backstage. Even as she is greeted and congratulated by many of her peers, she is still clutching the belt so tight as if loosening her grip would awake her from a dream she’s had for so long.

“You deserve this.”

“Congratulations.”

“Now starts Boss Time.”

That last one makes her giggle a little bit. It‘s only been a few minutes of brief celebratory exchanges before Sasha finds herself nearly knocked over by a whirlwind of blonde hair and cheetah print.

“Mella-“

“You...were incredible, and I can’t think of anyone else who deserves this more than you do.”

Sasha smiles and returns the hug, chuckling quietly when her friend doesn’t seem to let go right away. A quiet huff escapes her as she realizes it’s becoming slightly difficult to take a breath.

“That means the world coming from you, but uh, you’re kind of crushing me.”

Carmella eases up on the hug but still keeps her close. Her smile is bright as she knows just how hard Sasha has worked for this, and she’s elated that her friend finally gets to have her moment.

“I’m sorry, I’m just so proud of you. That belt has never looked better.” Carmella gushes before tapping the belt with her finger. “Well I mean, that’s only because I haven’t had it yet.”

Sasha gives the other woman a light hearted shove for the teasing comment. “I’ve had the damn thing for five minutes and already you’re plotting to take it from me?” She quirks an eyebrow.

Carmella simply shrugs. “A girl has ambitions.”

Rolling her eyes, Sasha gives her another playful nudge before adjusting her title over her shoulder. For risk of being a little vain, she can’t deny how good it looks on her, and she can’t wait to celebrate her success with those closest to her.

Speaking of celebrating.

Towards the end of the hall, she spots her best friend taking long strides toward her. Quickening here own pace, Sasha nearly jogs the remaining distance before practically throwing herself in the other woman’s arms.

“Char, I couldn’t have gotten here without you.” She murmurs, squeezing tighter. A small frown creeps on her face after a long moment after there’s no response and if she could’ve sworn that the hug is a bit stiff. Pulling away, she can’t help the confusion that crosses her face. “Charlotte?”

Charlotte opens and closes her mouth several times. She had been watching Sasha’s match in the back after having completed her own for the night. For a split second, she wants to bring back that moment of when the bell rang for the final time. That’s the Sasha she wants to see.

“Sasha I...” her voice gets caught in her throat and she curses herself for making the situation even more dramatic. Damn her own emotions. 

Sasha is confused. While she doesn’t want to sound too selfish, this definitely isn’t the reaction she expected to get from her friend following the biggest match of her career. The shifting, the stammering, it’s all out of character for Charlotte and that has her worried.

“What’s wrong?” She asks carefully.

Charlotte takes a deep breath, keeping her arms around Sasha before she continues. She steels herself to prep for whatever is going to happen in the next few moments as she knows it’s not going to be good. 

“Sasha something’s happened...” she pauses and takes another much needed deep breath for her sake. “It’s...its Becky.”

* * *

The next several hours are all a blur for Sasha. She feels incredibly numb and it isn’t the good kind from the adrenaline rush she got after her match. No. This is type of numb that somehow manages to work it’s way into her chest and slowly wind itself around her lungs, squeezing mercilessly until she‘s out of breath. 

She vaguely remembers Charlotte helping her change and pack her things. She barely remembers what she can assume was a very hellacious trip to the airport. She doesn’t remember anything significant about the flight itself, other than the fact she spent the entire time gripping Charlotte’s hand so tight she’s surprised she didn’t break it. 

Becky. Accident. Barely alive.

The four words keep repeating themselves over and over again in her mind. It’s almost as if she is stuck in a looping dream that isn’t allowing her to wake up. A dream that is quickly morphing into what she classifies as her worst nightmare. 

They’ve been together for years. Three years if anyone wants to get specific. In those years they’ve grown together and despite their professional livelihoods, they’ve solidified their relationship enough to where it’s strong enough to stand damn near anything. 

That strength though, Sasha is quickly finding, means next to nothing when she is being shuffled from place to place feeling like a fragile piece of glass that can break at any given moment. 

Travel time from Texas to Boston would seem otherwise unbearable, especially in a time of emergency. Sasha is at least thankful Charlotte had handled most of their transportation and used what Sasha often refers to as that “Flair Witchcraft.” 

The weather in Boston is disgusting and it makes the drive to the hospital all the more nerve wracking. On many occasions they find themselves in bumper to bumper traffic do to the low visibility conditions. 

Charlotte anxiously taps the steering wheel as they come to another dead stop, their third in the past ten minutes. Sighing quietly, she ups the setting on the wipers before risking a glance towards the passenger seat. Her heart nearly breaks at how tiny the other woman looks.

“Sasha...” she starts quietly, unsure exactly where to go. She silently reaches over and offers her hand knowing that it had helped on the plane. 

Sasha blinks absently for a moments and she doesn’t move. Instead, tears fall down the familiar tracks always made on her cheeks. When she finally does speak, she almost doesn’t recognize her own voice. 

“What if she’s dead.” 

Charlotte whips her head and is completely taken off guard by the sudden morbid thought. While Charlotte has spoken briefly to Becky’s partner over the phone, and yes things didn’t look great at the moment, she hadn’t expected Sasha to take such a dark stance so soon. Although, at the same time, she can’t really say she blames her. 

“Sasha, we can’t think like that.” 

“But what if she is!?” Sasha exclaims, the most she’s said since they’ve left the arena back in Dallas. “Everything is taking so long,  _we’ve_ taken so long! And-and...what if she’s dead?”

This time when Charlotte reaches a hand across the console, Sasha takes it. She knows at the moment they need to stay positive but in a time of fear and the unknown, she knows how frustrating that can be. Instead, she simply gives Sasha’s hand a light squeeze.

“We both know how stubborn Becky is; you more than anybody. But she’s also strong, and she’s going to fight if that means not leaving you behind.”

Sasha can only nod in response. Taking a shaky breath, she always feared this very day in the back of her mind. From the very moment they started seeing each other, she knew that something like this was always in the realm of possibility, but she never knew that it would become a reality.

Becky had tried to ease her worries very early on, and for a while she had, but Sasha still knew. She always knew, even though she had managed to cover it up underneath their shared happiness together.

The volatile storm leaves them drenched and cold by the time they make it in to the hospital. What a pair they must look like, soaked to the bone and exhausted from traveling nearly clear across the country in just a few hours.

As Charlotte keeps a hand on the small of her back to guide her, Sasha is cruelly reminded of why she hates hospitals. Everything is sterile, white, and it brings a coldness that has absolutely nothing to do with the weather. The smell is something she can’t quite describe, but it’s awful and something that she’s sure she won’t be able to get away from for quite a while.

A few people are staring at them as they pass, but Sasha couldn’t care less at the moment. If anything, she’s more focused on putting one foot in front of the other, and honestly, if it weren’t for Charlotte, she’s positive that she would’ve crumbled a long time ago.

The emergency waiting room is everything she expected to be, cold and sterile just like the rest of the place. The only thing different is the fact that it’s oddly busy and the area is occupied with an impressive wall of blue. She freezes when several faces turn to her and she wishes she could disappear at the sudden onslaught of attention, however subtle it may be. She doesn’t even realize she takes several retreating steps back until she feels the grip around her waist tighten.

“Do you need a second?” Charlotte whispers quietly.

“No I...I need to be here.” Sasha nods, though her voice is less than convincing.

“Sash-“

“No, Charlotte please, I’m-“

“Sasha?”

Glancing up, Sasha spots a familiar face making their way through the crowded area. She takes a few shaky steps away from Charlotte before she allows herself to be enveloped into a tight hug. It takes her a moment, but she soon finds herself returning the embrace just as tight, as if her life depends on it.

“Sasha I—I’m so sorry. I was trying to call you when it happened, but I couldn’t get through so I called Charlotte and...god, I’m so sorry.”

Sasha is unable to stop her trembling as she continues to cling to the other woman. “Bay-Is...is she...?” She is unable to finish her sentence, pulling away just enough to make eye contact.

Bayley quickly shakes her head. “She’s still in surgery right now. That’s all anyone has been able to tell us.”

Sasha nods absently and glances around the waiting room once more. She’s never been intimidated being around so many of them, but for some reason, she currently feels like the smallest person in the room. Apparently, Bayley picks up on this and she gently cups her cheek to bring Sasha’s attention back to her.

“Hey, just look at me okay? Don’t worry about anything else.”

Another absent nod. “Can you...can you tell me what happened?” Sasha’s voice is so small she almost goes unheard. Almost.

“Sash, are you sure...” Charlotte interjects quietly, stepping forward to tighten their little circle. She nods a silent greeting to Bayley before turning all of her attention back to her best friend.

“No I...I need to know what happened.”

Bayley chews her lip and exchanges a nervous look with Charlotte before she sighs quietly. “We both got the same call. Accident off one of the main roads. It’s been nasty like this pretty much all day, but it’s only gotten worse tonight. I got caught up, but Becky...she got there first before me, before EMS, before everybody. One of the cars was turned over, but there was still someone stuck inside, a kid I think. She had her lights on to block traffic but I guess with the storm, it was still hard to see. She got the kid out but there was a driver who didn’t see her standing in the road. They...they didn’t stop.”

Finally letting her tears fall, Sasha takes a few steps away from her friends. “I...I need a moment.” She says quietly before heading off towards a bathroom.

Bayley watches after her, nervously rubbing at the back of her neck. She gives a heavy sigh of her own before turning to Charlotte. “Char it...doesn’t look good. She coded twice and nobody’s been able to give us any information beyond that. Maybe now that Sasha’s here and she’s the emergency contact people will start talking, but...I don’t want to put too much pressure on her right now.”

Charlotte nods before she reaches out and places a firm hand in Bayley’s shoulder. She knows that look, she’s seen it many times from Sasha. The look of guilt and self blame. “Bayley, this isn’t your fault.”

“I should’ve been there.” Bayley shakes her head. “Becky and I have been partners for years. We’ve always been there for each other. The one time I wasn’t, this happened.”

Charlotte understands. While it may not be on the same level, she often shares similar anxieties in watching her best friend fling herself carelessly around the ring week after week. She’s lost count of the number of times her heart has stopped during a number of Sasha’s matches; many of which she’s been involved in.

Nevertheless, it’s in their protective nature to look after the ones closest to them. The very last thing she wants is for Bayley to blame herself for something that was completely out of her control. She knows for a fact that Becky wouldn’t want that.

“Becky knows you’ll always have her back. This time is no different.” Charlotte sighs before glancing over her shoulder. “I need to go check on her.”

“In the mean time I’ll see if I can find a doctor with any info.” Bayley nods offering a small smile. Well, as much of a smile as she can before she slowly makes her way back to the information desk.

When Charlotte enters the bathroom she finds Sasha staring blankly at herself in the mirror. She definitely doesn’t want to push anything, but at the same time she’s worried about her friend disassociating. From last experiences, she’s afraid of what that could lead to.

On the other hand, it takes Sasha a moment to register that someone is behind her. Meeting Charlotte’s eyes in the mirror, tears begin to silently make their way down her face against her permission.

“Char...” her voice is quiet when she finally spins around.

“You don’t have to say anything. Take as much time as you need.” Charlotte responds in what she can only hope sounds like encouragement.

Sasha trembles for a brief moment, opening and closing her mouth as no words form. Finally her gazes falls and she shakes her head slowly.

“I was...I was mad at her...” she whispers.

“What?”

“I was mad at her. The last conversation we had was on the phone and I was so mad at her.” Sasha pauses and laughs bitterly. “I was so mad at her I almost hung up on her. Thank god I didn’t.” 

Charlotte frowns slightly as she hadn’t been aware there was tension. Sasha hadn’t said anything about it before. 

“What happened?” 

“It was...silly. I had no reason to be mad, but I just...She was supposed to be there tonight. We had talked about it. She still had to work early in the day, but she was supposed to be catching a later flight to Dallas. She called me when I knew her flight should’ve been boarding and she told me she got stuck covering an extra shift at work because of the storm.”

Another pause and Sasha feels herself beginning to shake. Thankfully, Charlotte moves in and gently holds her shoulders to ease her anxiety. 

“I...hadn’t told her I was getting a shot at the belt. I wanted it to be a surprise. She felt awful she couldn’t be there and I know she tried, but I was still upset. She even sent a few texts before I was due on. I was just so disappointed she wasn’t going to be there, I didn’t respond to any of them. Mid match I kept finding myself looking over to where she would’ve been sitting and it hurt. Now I’m just...all of that seems pointless...”

“Sasha, I’m so sorry. I had no idea.”

“I didn’t want to say anything. Didn’t want to throw myself off.” Sasha tries to shrug. “I wish I hadn’t been so mad at her. Her last thought out there in the rain was probably how awful I was being and now I just...”

The breakdown catches them both off guard and Sasha is thankful for her friend because she’s sure she would’ve hit the floor without her. She clutches Charlotte impossibly tight in an attempt to keep herself upright. Her chest heaves painfullyand over the course of a few seconds she finds herself becoming incredibly lightly headed. 

Recognizing the signs of an oncoming panic attack, Charlotte gently holds Sasha’s face in her hands. Keeping her voice calm, she starts taking a number of deep breaths. 

“Hey? Look at me, okay? Just look and breathe with me. Just nice and slow, Boss. You’ve got it.”

Thankfully, they are able to avoid full blown panic and Sasha finds herself grounded by her friend’s calming actions. Well, as grounded as she can be.”

“I know this is the last thing you probably want to hear right now, and in no way am I telling you how to feel but,” Charlotte pauses until she’s sure she’s got Sasha’s full attention. “We can’t stand here and talk like she’s already gone, because she’s not. She’s in there fighting, and she’s fighting for you Sash. I know it’s hard and I know it’s scary, but right now...she needs you.”

“She needs me...” Sasha whispers and it hits her like a ton of bricks. The last several hours, she has jumped to the end all be all conclusion that this was the end. That Becky was gone and wasn’t coming back. No rational part of her mind had spoken to her and let her know that this wasn’t the end. 

Nodding, she takes the time to clean herself up at the sink for the second time tonight. She knows Becky wouldn’t want her here sobbing her eyes out in the bathroom. She almost laughs at a little Irish voice in the back of her mind telling her to ‘man up’. 

“Okay.” She nods with finality once again. She reaches out and grabs charlotte’s hand for extra strength as they jointly leave the restroom in search for a doctor who will be willing and able to give them information. 

* * *

Getting information out of the ER staff proves excruciatingly painful, and if it weren’t for Charlotte and Bayley, Sasha is sure she would’ve flown off the handle at the smart mouthed desk assistant. Although, that would be a hell of a headline. _‘WWE Superstar, Sasha Banks, jailed for throttling a bottle blonde at local hospital. More news at 8’_.

Needless to say, it takes them much longer than necessary to get information and Sasha is ready to tear a whole through the hospital when a doctor finally makes his way out to them. Sasha is just about to let him have it as well when she feels a firm grip on her arm.

“You are the family of Officer Lynch?”

“How is she?”

“Where is she?”

“You better start talking or I’ll-“

“She is alive.” The doctor states with a tiny smile silencing the women. “It was tough and go for a while but she pulled through surgery successfully. The next few hours, however, are still very critical.”

Sasha takes a much needed deep breath. “How...critical?”

The doctor’s look falls somber. “Officer Lynch-“

“Becky...just Becky...”

A nod. “Becky, sustained many injuries, most of which are internal. A concussion, fractured ribs, internal bleeding. We were able to stop the bleeding but what worries me is the amount of swelling around her spine.” He pauses and sighs softly. “We were able to reduce the swelling, but I’m afraid the effects could be lasting.”

Biting her lip, Sasha feels herself start to shake once more. She eventually turns to Charlotte and grips her right for stability. Seeing the exchange between the two, it’s Bayley who manages to speak up first.

“What exactly does all that mean, Doctor?”

Casting a somber look at the women once more the doctor hangs his head for a brief moment. He doesn’t want to scare them, but at the same time he has no other choice but to be completely transparent with them. Taking a deep breath, he maintains composure before continuing on.

“I’m afraid...it’s a possibility that she may not regain use of her legs...”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for sticking with me here. Hope you all enjoyed this little piece of a prologue-ish chapter and I hope you all stick around for more :)
> 
> Comments and kudos welcome as always!


	2. Chapter 2

**_*Three Years Ago*_ **

“Dude there’s no way.”

“What do you mean there’s no way? There absolutely is a way. If anything my chances are better now.”

“You’re a fucking idiot.”

“You’re just worried I’m not gonna strike out like the rest of you.”

“First of all, I wouldn’t call it striking out.”

At this, Becky raises her eyebrows high. An amused expression is on her face while she stares at her best friend. A laugh escapes her before she’s soon shaking her head in what appears to be disbelief.

“You’re joking right?” She laughs. “Then what would you call it?”

Bayley opens her mouth to respond, but immediately closes it. She repeats the motion for a few moments before finally her shoulders slump and she shakes her head.

“Call it what you will, I promise you’ll be damned to the same fate.” She states before taking a sip from her drink.

Becky glances around the bar and she’s unsurprised how crowded it is. It’s typical for their usual spot to be rowdy on a weekend night; most cop bars are. Having finished their shifts for the day, it isn’t uncommon for a bunch of them to gather and relax.

Becky and Bayley are at their usual corner spot in the bar observing their brothers and sisters in blue engage in light banter over drinks and competitive action over pool and darts. All was well and good. It was normal.

What wasn’t normal was the group of women who showed up about an hour after they’d arrived. Not that they aren’t used to new comers floating in and out of the bar here and there, but something about this group was different. First off, they all looked like they could kill a man in one way or another, but secondly, they all somehow managed to command the attention of everyone in the bar, even without trying to.

Several moments later, cue up several thirsty cops who were nearly tripping over themselves trying to charm the group. Drinks had been sent over and shots had been taken, but many soon found themselves trotting back to their table in defeat. It’s gone on for so long that it’s almost because a game at this point. One Becky is still having a hell of a time laughing at.

While the group has long since migrated to a table of their own, a majority of the attention has stayed on the lone woman who has opted to stay by the bar and quietly observe. Honestly, Becky’s lost count as to how many of her colleagues have approached her and how they only manage to make conversation for a brief moment before they dejectedly make their way back across the bar.

“If it helps, I wasn’t over there to hit on her.” Bayley speaks up. “I was really just trying to make nice. Besides, I feel like I’ve seen them somewhere before.”

Becky only shrugs as she continues to observe the woman by the bar. For some reason there’s something about her drawing her in, and she can see why. She’s gorgeous. From her outfit to her relaxed yet poised posture. Even the vibrant hair Becky would think is tacky on anyone else, she makes look incredible.

Her eyes nearly roll to the back of her head when she spots another guy strutting his way to the bar. Instantly, she can tell the woman is not impressed by his poor attempt as displaying swag.

“Doesn’t Mike have a wife...” Bayley screws up face.

“Uh huh, disgusting bastard.” Becky grunts in response. A smirk soon tugs at her lips however, when said bastard is immediately blown off. Apparently they aren’t the only ones picking up on his bad vibes.

Seeing that the woman is finally alone, Becky takes a hearty swig from her beer bottle before moving to stand up from the table.

“I’m gonna go talk to her.”

“You’re just gonna end up like everyone else in here.” Bayley shakes her head in her partner’s direction.

Becky only shrugs and dusts imaginary lent off her jacket. “Nah, I’m feeling good about my chances.”

“And pray tell, why’s that?”

“Luck of the Irish.”

The comment is sent with a wink and leaves Bayley rolling her eyes. She observes Becky make her way across the bar and she nearly spits out her drink when only a few minutes later Becky has the beautiful stranger laughing at something or other.

“Holy shit.”

**_*Present*_ **

Eyes flying open, Becky immediately feels like she’s underwater. For a long time, the only thing she can hear is the rhythmic pounding of what she can only hope is her heart. Above all else, she feels like she’s floating, but at the same time, everything is incredibly heavy.

The pounding increases, and despite their heaviness, her eyes shift quickly from side to side. The small movements prove futile as everything is incredibly blurry to the point that it’s almost black. Gone is the bar and the tables and the laughters. It’s all replaced by blurry fuzziness and that godforsaken pounding. 

“....by?”

Is that a voice?

“....m...ere...cky.”

That’s definitely a voice and quite possibly her name.

Despite feeling like she’s in a compression tube, she attempts to Will her senses into existence. She quickly finds moving to be out of the question, but her eyes continue to roll and shift, hopefully bringing an image into existence.

“Don’t...ry...ove...”

Her eyes begin to droop once more but she’s tries to fight it. Just barely through her semi consciousness does she feel the ghost of warmth against her cheek. The brushing feeling on her skin slowly continues and she tries as hard as she can to will her eyes open and steady.

Finally, her eyes open long enough to make out the slightly fuzzy silhouette leaning over her. They’re no longer in the low lighting of the bar, and as things become slightly clearer, she’s made aware of the artificial fluorescents. Soon, the pounding in her ears is replaced by moderate beeping.

“I’m here, Baby. I’m right here.”

_ ‘Sasha?’ _

Becky tries in vain to open her mouth. To call out to her lover and pull her close. But she can’t. She soon finds she can’t go anything. She becomes immediately aware of how restricted she is, she can’t move, she can’t speak, hell, even breathing is a slight issue.

That’s when she becomes acutely aware of the pain.

It’s familiar and terrifying. An agony that she wouldn’t even wish on her worst enemy. The beeping is replaced by the pounding once again, only instead of a rhythm, this time it’s rapid.

_‘God, make it stop!’_

“Be....?....cky!”

_‘The pain. Sash, make it stop! It’s too much. It’s too fucking much!’_

She’s only barely aware of the sudden rustling around the room. The pain is blinding for several moments, however, she soon finds herself fading once again. The blurriness returns, the pounding is steady, but most of all, the pain begins to ease. If she were able to smile, she’s sure that she would be as her eyes peacefully drift closed.

* * *

It’s been an hour since Becky had briefly woken up. At least, she thinks it’s been an hour. Sasha isn’t entirely sure about the time anymore. For the past few days, she hasn’t much moved from Becky’s bedside which has made it rather difficult to even keep track of the day, much less what time it is.

Earlier, the doctors had quickly rushed in, ushering her out of the way to tend to their patient. After days of the same, her heart had leaped when Becky finally opened her eyes, however brief it might’ve been. The moment was quickly shattered when Becky seemingly began to panic. The doctors had informed Sasha that such a reaction was normal for patients who have been unconscious for more than twenty four hours. Even as they administered enough pain medication to put her back to sleep, Sasha couldn’t help but worry regardless. 

The room is silent save for the beeping of the machines and the low hum of the lights. Sasha is seated next to the bed, as close as possibly without getting in the way while she gently strokes the side of Becky’s face that isn’t bandaged. She often alternates from stroking her cheek, to gently interlacing their fingers. Whether she feels it or not, Sasha is unsure, but in the event that she can, she wants Becky to know that she’s there. It’s also a reminder for herself as well.

“You’re so valiant sometimes, I hate you for it.” Sasha laughs quietly as she gives the slumbering woman’s hand a small squeeze. “This shouldn’t have happened. It shouldn’t have happened to anyone, but especially not to you. God Becks I thought...I thought you were gone.”

A small laugh escapes her lips as she wipes her quickly forming tears. Over the course of her time at the hospital, she’s become familiar with all of Becky’s injuries, no matter how hard she’s tried to ignore them. There’s are bandages covering the scrapes on her face and arms, assumingely from when she skidded across the pavement. Her arm is properly positioned to heal from being dislocated and there’s a small cast on the same arm to tend to a broken wrist.

What worries Sasha most, however, is the injuries she doesn’t see. Yes, there are the broken ribs that’ll only take time to heal, but as her gaze drifts down to the lower part of the bed, she is reminded of the surgeon’s eerie premonition.

_‘She may not regain use of her legs.’_

While of course, it’s still too soon to tell, the possibility still looms heavy and until Becky becomes fully conscious and responsive, there is unfortunately no way to tell just yet.

Sighing quietly, Sasha grips the uninjured hand just a little tighter. “You’re in there somewhere, and I don’t know if you can hear me, but I want you to know I love you, okay? I...I feel like I don’t say that enough. I know that you know it, but it’s different. We’re both gone a lot, me more than anything, but...I definitely don’t say it enough.”

Only the machines grant her a response, not that she was really expecting anything more. Another long suffering sigh escapes her lips as she drops her head to rest on the side of the bed. She’s unsure how long she stays like that until a light knock on the door rouses her from her thoughts. Looking up, she blinks when the familiar faces of her friends slowly shuffle into the room.

“What are you guys doing?” She asks carefully, her confusion evident. “Don’t the both of you have...something?”

The two women briefly glance at one another before shrugging simultaneously. It’s Charlotte who speaks up first.

“I’ve got a signing in the morning and I’m not needed again until tomorrow night.” She shrugs again. “It’s not far from here.”

“And you? What are you doing here?” Sasha drifts her eyes to her other friend.

“I’m not on the card until Friday.” Carmella answers, though she sticks close to Charlotte. Upon arriving at the hospital, Charlotte had instructed her not to immediately launch herself at Sasha in her usual fashion. If anything, they all need to take it slow.

Sasha sighs and shakes her head. “You guys didn’t have to do that...” She mumbles, turning her attention back to her sleeping girlfriend.

“Of course we did. You guys are family.” Charlotte says firmly.

“And we drop everything for family.” Carmella carefully shuffles across the room and wraps Sasha in a gentle hug from her spot in the chair. “I wanted to be here as soon as I found out what happened. Sasha, I’m so sorry.”

“She’s still here...” Sasha says, though it comes out a little flat. For a moment, however, she detangles her hand from Becky’s long enough to give her friend’s arms a gentle pat from where they’re holding her. “It’s just...this is where we’ve been for the last few days...”

“Bayley said she’s been trying to text you, but you haven’t answered. She’s working a shift right now, but she says she’ll try to come back after. She’s worried about you.” Charlotte’s eyebrows knit in concern as her own worry shows.

She knew that Sasha wasn’t going to leave Becky’s side for anything, and she wishes that she could’ve finessed her way into staying longer to take care of her friend, however, due to the nature of their job. She can only bend certain rules so far. That doesn’t mean she is going to stop trying though.

Needless to say, what worries her is the drained physical appearance and the dark circles under the eyes of her best friend. Her hair is limp and she almost looks frail to the point where if Charlotte didn’t know Sasha so well, she would think this was a totally different person.

“Phone’s probably dead.” Sasha mutters, returning her hand to Becky’s.

“And when’s they last time you ate?” Charlotte quirks an eyebrow. “And showered?”

Sasha rolls her eyes at how quickly Charlotte manages to sound like a mother. “I don’t remember.” It’s the truth. She really doesn’t. Not since she’s been here,

“Mella’s gonna take you home so you can shower and eat. Maybe even take a nap while you’re at it.” It isn’t a suggestion; it’s an instruction that Charlotte fully intends for her to follow.

“I can’t leave her. She woke up for a little bit earlier, but she had to be out back to sleep. Too much pain.” Sasha whispers sadly. “I don’t want her to be alone.”

“She won’t be. I’ll stay with her.”

“But-“

“Sasha you need to take care of yourself, you look like shit.” Carmella states flatly. Next to Charlotte, she is all too familiar with Sasha’s stubbornness. On many occasions, they’ve made several jokes on how Becky even manages to handle it. But now isn’t the time for jokes. Her friend is in need and she’ll be damned if she’s going to sit around and let her waste away.

Seeing that she’s out numbered, Sasha glances at Becky once more before she sighs heavily. “Fine...” she grumbles before attempting to stand. The room spins immediately, and she’s sure she would’ve fallen had Carmella not been there to steady her. “Shit...”

“That’s why you need to eat.” Charlotte sighs before pulling the smaller woman into a warm embrace. “I’ll be right here. She’s not going to be alone. You just go home and rest for a bit...and charge your damn phone so people will be able to get a hold of you.”

“Yes ma’am,” Sasha lightly returns the hug.

“You probably don’t wanna be anywhere near your phone right now anyway...” Carmella snorts quietly. While she thought her comment went unheard, she soon finds that it wasn’t when she catches Charlotte’s intense glare over Sasha’s shoulder. Immediately, her shoulders begin to shrink.

Sasha heard it as well. She pulls away from Charlotte just long enough to glance over her shoulder at the startled woman. “What does that mean?”

“Nothing...it’s...nothing.”

“Well obviously it is, otherwise you wouldn’t have said anything.”

“Mella...” Charlotte groans, pinching the bridge of her nose.

Carmella awkwardly holds up her hands. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to...look, she’s gonna hear about it anyway.”

“Yes, but now definitely is not the time or the place.”

“That’s fair, that’s totally fair. You know I don’t like hiding things from her...”

“It isn’t hiding! She just doesn’t need to deal with that right now. It should be the last thing on her mind.”

Sasha blinks rapidly as the two women continue to go back and forth. Finally, she clears her throat just loud enough to get their attention and hopefully not disturb Becky.

“I am literally right here.” She stares, sending both of her friends equally firms look before she looks up at Charlotte. “What is going on.”

Charlotte chews her lip awkwardly before sighing. “It’s stupid. All of it is so stupid, but since you’ve been gone people have been kind of...loud about it on the internet.”

“Not very many people know something’s happened and everyone’s wondering where their champion went,” Carmella winces when Charlotte glares at her once again.

This time Sasha groans and screws her eyes shut. She’s been so mentally absent and deep in her worry that she hadn’t even thought about work. In fact, for a moment she’s almost forgotten she even won the damn thing.

“It’s only been a few days.” She groans again, her tiredness being made evident.

“People are...stupid.” That’s quickly becoming Charlotte’s favorite word. “It’s not anyone else’s business what’s going on. Fan or otherwise, you don’t need to explain yourself to them.”

“Otherwise...?”

“Certain...people...have been trying to use coming for your absence as a way to gain heel heat...”

“Like who?”

“No one worth mentioning, that’s for sure.” Carmella grumbles darkly.

Charlotte rolls her eyes and sighs. “It’s not important. Not right now. What’s important is getting you rest and fed.” She pleads. “Please go home for a little bit.”

Chewing her lip, she glances back at Becky who unsurprisingly hasn’t moved. As much as she wants to stay in that same chair, the rational part of her mind knows that she has to take care of herself just a little bit. Besides, Becky would have her neck if she knew she has gone this long without eating.

“Fine.” She’s much too tired to argue anyway. Her tension slightly fades away when Carmella reaches out and grabs her hand. “Please call me if something happens?”

“Promise. Now go.”

Nodding, Sasha allows herself to be led from the hospital room for the first time in days. As much as she wants to stay positive, she can’t help but feel in the back of her mind that this is just a calm before the storm. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More of those tiny flashbacks are gonna be around here and there. I’m kinda new to those so we’ll see how that goes. More of the sads next chapter 
> 
> Thanks for reading :)


	3. Chapter 3

_***About Three Years Ago***_  
  
“So...the Bank Statement...”

“Yes.”

“Why’s it called the _Bank Statement_???”

“It’s a play on words, and it’s cool.”

“I dunno...seems kinda corny if you ask me.”

“Hey!”

Becky laughs openly as she receives a decent series of swats to her shoulder. Lifting her hands, she’s unable to stop her laughter while trying to fend off her attacker. After a while, she is able to grab both of Sasha’s hands and roll onto her back, successfully pulling the smaller woman on top of her. 

“Miss Banks, you’re assaulting an officer.” Becky’s smirk is so devilish it’s annoying.

“Well, that officer is being an asshole.” Sasha grumbles before rolling back onto her side. She remains close and snuggles into Becky’s side before finding a comfortable spot on her chest. 

With their clothes haphazardly scattered around the room, the two now lay comfortably tangled with one another underneath the sheets. Both spent from their extracurricular activities, Becky had insisted earlier that they watch some television while coming down from their shared high. Sasha had readily agreed, saying she could go for some tv watching.

What she hadn’t agreed on was how quickly Becky began loading up the WWE Network application. A loud groan had escaped her lips when the other woman began typing in a username and password on the tv.

“What are you doing!?” Sasha had exclaimed attempting to reach for the remote. “Oh my god, why do you even have an account!?”

“I want to watch wrestling.” Becky shrugged as if it’s the most normal thing in the world to do after sex. She’s unable to hide her smirk when Sasha reaches for the remote once more.

“You’ve literally never shown any interest before.”

“That’s not true! I’ve showed plenty of interest! I’ve just never watched it, but I wanna watch now.”

Fast forward to an hour later where Becky is quite fascinated by the world of sports entertainment. Never before has she even considered professional wrestling a legitimate sport like she viewed football or baseball. After seeing how these women sacrifice the bodies, her opinions have definitely changed.

It has only been a short couple of months that they have been seeing one another, even less that they have been sleeping together. It was initially a surprise at how quickly they had gravitated towards one another and while they’re still learning new things about each other, Becky can’t help but feel incredibly lucky.

“Here, I’ve got one I want to show you.” Sasha reaches for the remote and begins to flip through the pages. There is a brief moment of hesitation before she hits play.

Becky watches in amazement as a younger version of the woman in her bed struts down the ramp on the television. “Wow...you’re so...” she pauses and shakes her head. “Different.”

At this, Sasha raises an eyebrow and lifts her head a little. “Different?” She echos with a small laugh.

“Not a bad different! Just...I dunno. Different, different.” She licks her lips and pulls Sasha closer. “What’s special about this one?”

“It was my first title match.” Sasha responds with a tiny smile. “The first match where everything finally felt real for me. I didn’t win, but it didn’t feel like a dream anymore.”

“Spoiler.” Becky laughs when Sasha swats her again. Her brow furrows when she recalls a few of the matches they had watched before. While they weren’t all chronological, she did notice that a hand full of them had a few things in common. 

“How come you didn’t show me any where you win? Not the match I mean, we’ve watched a few of those, but I mean, what about the belt?”

Over the course of the next minute or so, Sasha is completely silent and Becky worries that she might’ve overstepped with the question. Immediately, she wishes that she could take it back as she’s worried she’s completely screwed up the rest of their evening.

Instead, Sasha only shrugs while she continues to stare blankly at the television. It’s a question that she’s asked herself for who knows how long, and even to this day, she’s unsure of the answer.

“They have to see it.” She says quietly with a shake of her head. “And I guess...no ones really believed in me like that. Not yet.”

Becky quietly wraps both arms around Sasha and holds her for a moment before dropping a kiss to her shoulder. “Well, I believe in you. Even though this is new to me and I still kinda don’t know what’s going on, you’re amazing to watch. You clearly give it your all and you put on a hell of a show. Anyone would be crazy not to push you straight to the top.”

Sasha blushes and offers a small half shrug. “Maybe. We’ll see.”

“We will. And I’ll be right there in the front row when it happens.” Becky grins brightly before her face softens. “When do you have to be on the road again?”

“I have to catch a flight to Kansas City on Thursday.” Sasha answers after a moment of thought.

“It’s Tuesday.” Becky states before she rolls over to where she is hovering above Sasha. She leans down and initiates a deep kiss that leaves them both breathless when they finally break away.

“What do you say we make the most of it, yeah?”

* * *

**_*Present*_ **

Sasha doesn’t even remember closing her eyes, much less how she managed to even make it to her bedroom. Her eyes still feel heavy as she blinks and stretching out her tired limbs proves to be more difficult than she originally expected. Apparently spending days in a hospital chair had taken its toll and she wasn’t even aware of it.

Subconsciously, her hand reaches out to her right and her heart sinks when her fingers only find cold sheets. Upon waking up, she had hoped that everything was just a bad dream, but the emptiness in her bedroom reminds her that it’s not.

Sighing quietly, she swings her legs over to the edge of the bed and gathers herself before attempting to make her way downstairs. As she makes her descent, her stomach growls in protest and she becomes acutely aware of just how long it’s been since she’s eaten something. The warm smell coming from the kitchen does absolutely nothing to help.

“Hey sleeping beauty.”

The voice that calls over from the couch slightly startles Sasha and she wonders how she even missed the low buzz from the television while she was making her way down the stairs.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.” Carmella offers a small smile before lifting a bowl. “Just an FYI, you guys had like no groceries. You passed out as soon as we got here so I went outand picked up a few things. I made soup, and it should still be hot.”

“You didn’t have to do that...” Sasha mumbles, though she makes her way to the kitchen regardless. She grabs a bowl for herself before shuffling back into the living room where she takes the other end of the sofa. A grateful sigh escapes her lips when she takes her first bite.

After several minutes of enjoying sustenance, she finally speaks again. “Has Charlotte called?”

“We’ve been texting. She said there’s been no change...” Carmella answers solemnly. “Apparently Becky’s partner just got there.”

“Jesus, how long was I asleep?”

“Few hours. I came in to ask you what you wanted to eat and you were out cold. You only snore like that when you’re exhausted so I figured I’d let you sleep. You needed it.”

At this, Sasha huffs and lowers her spoon into her bowl. “Well you should’ve woke me. What if something had happened?”

“Then I would’ve woke you...” Carmella responds flatly before shaking her head. “Sash, you needed the rest.”

“Well, now I’m rested so we need to be heading back soon.”

“Sasha, don’t you think that-“

“No Mella! We need to head back! Becky needs me! I don’t want her to wake up alone! She-she can’t be alone!”

Carmella places her bowl on the coffee table before scooting closer on the couch. She gently reaches out and places a hand on her friend’s knee. “She’s not alone. I promise you she’s not alone. And she needs you, but she needs you at your best. Can you imagine what she’d say if she knew you were running yourself into the ground like this? And what she would do to us for letting you??”

Sasha laughs quietly despite herself. “She would call you all bloody disgusting idiots.” She adds on with her best rendition of Becky’s accent.

They two share a laugh and lapse into a comfortable silence while they enjoy their soul and quiet television. Occasionally, Sasha will glance over and find Carmella typing away on her phone and the action quickly reminds her of something.

“Did you plug my phone in while I was asleep?”

Carmella lifts her eyebrows and chews her lip in hesitation. “Uh, yeah. It should be fully charged.”

Sasha blinks slowly as no movement is made after that. “So...can I have it?” She asks carefully.

“Uhm...”

“Mella!”

“Okay! Okay...” Carmella grabs said device from the charging mat and begins to hand it over only to pull back last second. “Just...promise you won’t spend too much time online.”

Sasha rolls her eyes and nearly snatched her phone back. Instantly, she opens her text messages looking for any sign from Charlotte or Bayley that Becky had woken up, but she finds none. Her inbox is incredibly cluttered due to several days with being off the map, but her fingers unconsciously take her to her text thread with Becky. A small pang of guilt swells in her chest when she sees that the last handful of messages are unopened.

_‘Sasha, I’m so sorry. I tried, I really did.’_

_‘Baby, please don’t be mad. I promise I’ll make it up to you and I’ll be there for the next one. I’m sorry :(‘_

The last one had been sent just nearly fifteen minutes before the accident and Sasha has to resist the urge to throw her phone across the room. How could she have been so selfish at the time? God, how Becky must’ve hated her.

A quiet huff escapes her lips as she hesitates to open her social media. Not that she’s bursting at the seams to do so, but given the ominous information she received from her friends, she can’t help but be just a tad bit curious. Only a few seconds after she opens Twitter, she almost wishes she hadn’t as she is overwhelmed by the amount of notifications and mentions.

Some are good, some are just down right ugly, but most of them all ask the same question; where in the hell is Sasha Banks?

“Wow. People are actually comparing me to Lesnar.” She states dryly, breaking the silence in the living room.

“I knew you were going to look...” Carmella shakes her head. “Sash, don’t pay attention to that trash. You don’t need that right now.”

“Kind of hard not to,” Sasha grimaces as she continues to scroll through her timeline. One particular post catches her eye and her jaw tenses involuntarily.

_AlexaBliss_WWE: leave it to @sashabanksWWE to steal from me and then run and hide because she’s scared. Typical._

Sasha rolls her eyes so hard it’s painful. This must have been what Charlotte was talking about when she mentioned ‘certain people’ trying to attract heel heat. If anything, Sasha isn’t the least bit of surprised, given the fact that she and Alexa have had their fair share of problems both in and outside of the ring. That doesn’t mean she isn’t pissed about it though.

As much as she wants to give the former champion a piece of her mind, she resolves herself to closing Twitter instead. She can’t deal with this now, not when she would be speaking on sheer emotion one about something that isn’t anybody else’s damn business.

“Are you going to say anything?” Carmella asks carefully, knowing Sasha had come across a string of undesirable mentions.

“No.” Sasha’s response is firm and immediate. “The people who need to know, know. What goes on in my personal life isn’t some spectacle for everyone else to enjoy. This isn’t a reality show. Maybe I’ll say something when the time is right, but right now I just...want to keep this private.”

“And what about Alexa? You know how loud she can get.” 

“Alexa can kiss my—“ Sasha’s rebuttal is cut off by the loud blaring of her phone ringing. It startles her, but she is quickly scrambling to answer it without bothering to see who’s calling. “Hello?” 

“Sash?” Charlotte’s voice filters loudly through the speaker. “Sasha, she’s awake.”

Sasha blinks dumbly and stares at her phone for several seconds before responding. “...what?”

“Becky’s awake. She’s asking for you.”

* * *

Sasha had all but flown off the couch after Charlotte’s phone call. It had taken her only seconds to find her shoes and keys, only pausing long enough to make sure Carmella actually made it in the car. 

Now, Sasha finds herself nearly sprinting through the familiar halls of the hospital, not giving a damn at the look of distaste she gets from a few nurses. She dares any of them to say something to her, especially right now.

As she nears Becky’s room, she hits what feels like a brick wall and nearly lands on her ass if it weren’t for arms reaching out to steady her. Looking up, she finds Bayley looking down at her with a slightly amused expression.

“Careful, Sash.” She chuckles quietly, giving the slightly smaller woman a quick hug.

“Sorry.” Sasha breathes as she returns the hug. “I just...really need to see her.”

Bayley nods her head as she straightens her uniform. “She’s conscious and pretty responsive. First person she asked for was you.”

Nodding, Sasha moves towards the room, but hesitates. Yes, Becky asked for her, but what if she’s upset about how Sasha was behaving the night of the accident? The thought makes her want to throw up.

“Sasha, it’s okay.” Charlotte calls over from where she and the others are sitting in the waiting area. “We’ll be right here if you need us.”

Taking a deep breath, Sasha nods again before she opens the door and slips inside the room. For a few seconds, she opts for lingering close to the door, but she can’t help but feel tears spring to her eyes when she catches a familiar pair of eyes watching her from the bed.

“Becks...” she whispers quietly as she moves closer to the bedside.

“Hi.” Becky’s voice is raspy from its lack of use, but she manages a tiny smile despite her injuries.

Not wanting to agitate said injuries, Sasha gently combs her fingers through her girlfriend’s hair. “How...how are you feeling?” She knows it’s a dumb question, but she’s finding it hard to form words at the moment.

Becky makes a noise that sounds like a laugh, but it’s followed up with a tiny wince. “Like I got hit by a car.” Her smile turns into a grimace. “That’s what Bayley said. Is that what happened?”

“Yeah...Yeah, Baby, that’s what happened.” Sasha nods as her tears finally fall. “But you’re here. You’re okay.”

Becky frowns. She reaches up with her good hand and gently cups Sasha’s face. “Don’t cry. I’m right here.” She whispers before wiping a few tears away with her thumb.

The longer Becky stays awake, the more in tune with the rest of her injuries she becomes. Upon waking, the medication left a bit of a numbing feeling all over her body and it took several minutes for her to gain back the feeling in different parts of her body.

Over the course of several minutes, however, she frowns when she tries to adjust herself and finds herself unable to. Not that she needs to be doing very much moving anyway, still she can’t help the small strain of panic that shoots through her when she tries to move again.

Sensing Becky’s sudden discomfort, Sasha frowns and moves closer. “Baby? What’s wrong? Is it the pain?”

“No it’s...” Becky blinks slowly and shakes her head as best she can. She tries to move again, but the harder she tries, the more it scares her when nothing happens. Against her wishes, she feels her panic begin to rise by the second.

“Sasha I...” she struggles with her words, gritting her teeth as she shakes her head again. “My legs...”

“Do they hurt? I can have them give you something for the pain.”

“No I...” Becky takes a shuddering breath as she looks up with tears in her eyes.

“Sasha, I can’t feel them.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I lied. Not very many sads this chapter but sads next chapter. 
> 
> Flashbacks aren’t necessarily going to be chronological either, they’ll jump all over the place.
> 
> I’ve updated the tags as well. Hopefully I’m making sense to someone other than my self haha
> 
> Thanks for reading!!!


	4. Chapter 4

It has been a few weeks of absolute hell. Everything has been a whirlwind that has moved painfully slow and dangerously fast all at the same time. Nevertheless, Sasha has been waiting for this day since the very beginning, but she still can’t escape the tension that’s been plaguing her since that fateful night.

The car ride is completely silent. From very early on, she had tried to make conversation, but she only got silence in return. Several times she even contemplated turning on the radio, but for some reason she resolved that it would only make the atmosphere even more heavy. 

“I um...have you maybe thought about what you’d like for lunch?” Sasha speaks carefully, glancing over towards the passenger seat. “I can make something for you, or if you want I can go out and get your favorite once you’re settled?”

More silence. Becky only continues to stare blankly out the front windshield. She doesn’t even turn her head and acknowledge the question. She simply remains quiet.

Sasha nervously chews her lip and taps her fingers against the steering wheel. “We can stop for something now if you just want something quick.” 

“Not hungry.” Becky grunts, probably the only thing she has said so far all day. 

“Well, you’ve gotta eat something at some point.” 

“I don’t care.” 

At this Sasha sighs and refocuses on the road. If she’s completely honest, she isn’t surprised that Becky is being like this and she can’t exactly say that she blames her. When she had first woken up and became aware of just how bad the result of the accident turned out to be, it’s almost as if she completely shut down from there.

* * *

“I...I feel there is something touching me, but I can’t feel what it feels like. I can’t tell if it’s hot or cold. It just feels like it’s...there.” She pauses and swallows thickly before shaking her head. “But I can’t move...”

The doctor nods solemnly before scribbling down in his clipboard. “Following the accident there was a significant amount of swelling in your spine. We...had to perform an emergency surgery to reduce it.” He pauses and takes a deep breath. “The good news is, we do not have to amputate. I am able to tell from your x-rays and my tests here that the nerves were not 100% damaged. That being said...full recovery is...highly improbable.”

“But not impossible, right?” Sasha’s head snaps towards the doctor.

“No...not impossible.”

“So she could walk again?”

“She could, but...” he pauses and sighs once again before looking at the couple making sure he has their attention. “Listen, I’m not trying to scare the both of you, but I do want to keep a level of realism and honesty. The damage done was...significant, and while it is a possibility you could walk again, the road to recovery is going to be a challenging one. It’s going to require immense treatment and rehabilitation. Becky when the time comes, you are quite literally going to have to relearn how to walk.”

* * *

From there, Becky has completely retreated into herself. While at the hospital she had spent most of her time either sleeping or just blankly staring into the unknown. The most talking she did was when a doctor asked her about her pain levels and if she required any further medication to keep her comfortable. 

The change initially frightened Sasha something terrible and on one occasion when Becky had told her to leave the room all together, Sasha had spent the better part of an hour crying on Bayley’s shoulder, no doubt blaming herself for not being able to do enough. Even now, she still feels slightly incompetent.

Pulling into the driveway of their home, Sasha turns off the car and casts a glance at her girlfriend once more, completely unsurprised that she hasn’t moved. She too doesn’t say a word as she exits the vehicle and grabs something for the trunk before she opens the passenger side door.

“Getting out might be a little easier than getting in.” Sasha tries to smile.

Becky huffs quietly as she unbuckles her own seatbelt. Her movements are almost robotic as she wraps an arm around Sasha’s shoulders and uses her other good arm to brace herself as she’s transferred into the wheelchair waiting on the outside. She grunts at the awkward landing.

“Sorry, sorry.” Sasha apologizes, using her foot to keep the wheel chair from rolling while she retrieves Becky’s travel bag from the back seat. “Ready?”

More silence.

“Bayley says that she’ll come by and build a ramp so it’ll make things a little easier.” Sasha states, huffing quietly after having worked to get Becky up the small set of stairs leading up to their home.

Becky’s eyebrows knit when she is wheeled through the front door. She honestly has no idea how long it’s been since she’s been in her own house, and while most would be excited to be returning home, she is immediately filled with dread. As she is pushed into the living room, she notices how everything has changed.

“You’ve moved everything.” Her voice is gruff and quiet.

Sasha blinks in surprise at the full sentence. “Yeah I had to. Bayley and Charlotte helped me kind of rearrange so it would be easier for you to get around.” 

“I could have managed.”

“Not with how it was before. The house wasn’t exactly wheelchair friendly.”

Becky grits her teeth and tries to will the tears behind her eyes to stay there. She tries incredibly hard not to blink lest they actually end up falling. She grips the wheel of the chair with her good hand and tries to roll herself forward.

“I can manage.” She grunts, not realizing how much strength is required to move.

“Not until the rest of your body has healed you can’t.” Sasha states firmly as she steps in front of the chair. Her heart breaks at the look of complete frustration on her girlfriend’s face. “Your wrist and ribs need to heal completely before you try to get around on your own.”

Becky chews her lip and sits back in defeat. “Which means I can’t start therapy until after that...”

“It’ll happen soon.” Sasha says warmly as she continues pushing Becky through their home.

She wheels her into one of the downstairs bedrooms that she had spent the previous day setting up. Setting the bag down, she looks at Becky as if silently asking her if she’s ready to be moved again and she receives a small nod in response. Moving from the wheelchair to the bed was a bit more difficult than the car transfers and it takes the both of them a few tries, but they eventually find success.

“So...food?” Sasha implores after she catches her breath.

Becky clenches her jaw and shakes her head. “I just want to sleep for now. That...took a lot out of me.”

“Baby, I get that, but you haven’t eaten all day and you’ve gotta take your medicine later and—”

“Sasha can you maybe not talk for like five fucking seconds!?”

Sasha’s mouth snaps shut at the rebuttal and she nods slowly. “Okay...I’ll let you take a nap and I’ll make something for you after so you can take your medicine.” She says quietly before moving towards the door. “I’ll leave the door open, so just yell if you need me.”

“Close it.”

“I...okay.”

Hearing the door click shut, Becky falls back into the pillows with a sigh. It’s different, it’s so incredibly different and it bothers her that she’s been cursed to such a fate that she doesn’t even get the option to sleep in her own bed.

Tears of frustration once again spring to her eyes as she glances down at her legs and she tries everything within her to get them to move. Almost as if the longer she stares at them, the more they mock her.

A pang of guilt surges through her as she realizes she shouldn’t have snapped at Sasha the way she did. As much as she wants to call out to apologize, she doesn’t. She feels like the life has been sucked right out of her and she can’t bring herself to even want the minimum amount of social reactions. Not even with her own girlfriend. Instead, she closes her eyes and tries to force herself to sleep.

**_ *Two Years Ago* _ **

“This is such fucking BULLSHIT!”

Becky flinches from the kitchen when she hears something hit the wall and shatter in the living room. She pauses her dish washing and rushes into the room to find shattered remnants of a drinking glass discarded on the floor.

“Babe?”

“What!?”

“Maybe don’t break the dishes so I’ll actually have something to wash.” Becky chuckles quietly as she carefully tries to pick up the larger pieces. Her eyebrows knit in concern however as she glances at her girlfriend who is pouting on the sofa. “What’s wrong?”

Sasha sighs quietly and wraps her arms around herself. “I just got a message from my doctor. I’m not allowed to even see a ring for at least six weeks.” She mumbles before sighing once again. “I was set to challenge for the title within the next week and now I’m going to be dropped from that because I can’t compete...”

Becky’s heart sink at the broken look on Sasha’s face. “Oh babe...” she says quietly. She quickly discards the glass pieces before joining Sasha on the sofa. “Honey I’m so sorry...I know how badly you wanted this.”

“It’s just not meant to ever fucking happen.” Sasha all but flings her phone across the room. Thankfully Becky is right there to keep her from throwing it. 

“Sasha don’t think like that.”

“How can I not!? This is my first opportunity in years, Becky. YEARS. This is the first time in so long I’ve been given the chance and I know I can take Alexa. I would’ve had my fucking moment! If it’s not one thing it’s another and I’m so sick of coming in dead last! I’m tired of it!”

Becky recognizes the exactly moment her girlfriend’s resolve begins to shatter. She moves over and gathers Sasha in her arms right as she breaks down into sobs. While she can’t say she knows exactly what Sasha’s going through to this capacity, she knows what it’s like to be passed over. Hell, she’s a woman in the police force, being passed up is damn near apart of the job description.

“I know nothing I can say right now will make you change your mind.” Becky begins as she pulls Sasha into her lap and guides her head onto her shoulder. “I know that you’re angry, it hurts, and you’re disappointed.”

“I’m getting to the point where I don’t want to try anymore.” Sasha cries. “I’m tired of working my ass off and getting my hopes up that finally, _finally_ I’ll be able to have my moment only to be knocked back by circumstances.”

“So...why don’t you quit?”

“What?”

This time Becky shrugs. “If you’re tired of trying then just quit. Retire, hang up your boots.”

Sasha sits up and gives Becky an incredulous look that screams ‘have you lost your mind?’ She waits patiently for Becky to continue, but when she doesn’t she shakes her head “Are you serious?”

“Yeah, I mean since you’re so ready to give up.” Becky shrugs again. “I didn’t know the Boss would give up so easy.”

“I’m not giving up I’m just...”

“You’re angry, I get that. You have every right to be angry. But I know you and I know that quitting is something that isn’t even in your vocabulary. You’ve bounced back from so much already. You can take this too.”

Sasha manages to smile and she ducks her head feeling slightly embarrassed at her miniature tantrum. “I’m sorry...” she mumbles.

“You’ve got nothing to be sorry for.” Becky hums as she wipes a few of her lover’s tears away. “But I don’t ever want to hear you say anything about you giving up. That’s not the Boss I know.”

“Yeah? And who is the Boss you know?”

“She’s smart. She’s driven. She’s a fighter.” Becky punctuates each of her words with a kiss, her last one being long and deep. “But those aren’t my favorite.”

Sasha quirks an eyebrow skeptically. “...what’s your favorite?”

“She’s mine.”

Sasha laughs openly and tangles her hands into Becky’s hair. For the first time that night a smile has been brought to her face. She leans down and initiates a lingering kiss before she pulls away and taps Becky’s nose.

“She is definitely yours.” 

_***Present*** _

The next time Becky opens her eyes it takes her a few moments to remember where she is. Gone are the familiar beeps and fluorescent hums she’s been accustomed to falling asleep to at night. Instead there’s silence. It’s almost too silent.

She glances around the bedroom and sighs. Even in her own home she’s feeling like an outsider, trapped in the guest bedroom because she can’t make it up the stairs. The door that was once closed is left slightly cracked and on the nightstand is a plate with a sandwich and potato chips next to her medication.

Squeezing her eyes shut, she falls back against the pillows feeling guilty at how snappy she had been earlier. It wasn’t that she was angry at Sasha, she had just been incredibly overwhelmed by being home and still not even close to being a hundred percent. Still though, she shouldn’t have snapped like she had.

Taking a deep breath, she musters up enough energy to call out.

“Hey Sash?”

For a moment it’s quiet, but soon feint footsteps can be heard approaching. Sasha carefully pushes the door open and pokes her head inside, so clearly hesitant to just walk right in. She appears to relax when she sees there isn’t an impending emergency.

“Hey...how did you sleep?” She asks quietly as she hesitantly slips into the room.

Becky shrugs. “Kind or restless. I guess I just got used to the mattress at the hospital.” A pause. “I’m...sorry for earlier.”

“Baby you don’t have to be sorry.”

“I do though. You’re just doing what you can to help me and you didn’t deserve to have your head bitten off. I’m sorry.”

Sasha moves in closed and takes a seat on the edge of the bed. She reaches out and gently combs Becky’s hair away from her forehead. “How are you feeling?”

“It hurts. Not sharp like it was initially, but there’s still pain.” Becky takes a deep breath and nods towards the lower half of the bed. “And there’s still that...”

“It’s just going to take some time.” Sasha feels like a broken record because at this point that’s all she really has to offer.

Nodding, Becky reaches for the sandwich and takes a bite despite her lack of appetite. For a moment there is silence between them as she continues to chew through her food. Suddenly, a thought pops into her mind.

“We never talked about your match.” She says out of the blue. “You didn’t ever tell me what happened.”

Sasha freezes and hesitated for a moment before she shakes her head. “Becky, we...don’t have to talk about that right now.”

“I want to.” Becky continues to press. “Did you win?”

Seeing Becky blinking at her with a level of sincerity and vulnerability leaves Sasha with a stabbing feeling in her heart. “Yeah...yeah, I won...”

“You’re the champion?”

“I’m the champion...”

A fresh set of pain surges through Becky, but this doesn’t have anything to do with her injuries. This is the type of pain the seizes her heart and refuses to let go. She is unable to stop her tears as they suddenly and steadily flow down her cheeks.

“You’re the champion.” She repeats quietly. “I promised I would be there...”

Sasha’s eyebrows knit together in condensed and she reaches back for Becky’s good hand, but it’s pulled away. “Becky, you can’t...it’s okay...”

“No, no I promised I would be there when you won. Your first one...I promised.”

“Baby it’s not your fault...”

“But it is! I should’ve pushed back harder. I should’ve done something, anything. You’ve dreamed about this moment and I promised I was going to be there and I let you down.”

“Hey look at me.” Sasha waits patiently for several moments and when Becky doesn’t turn her head, she sighs. “Because of you, there’s a mom out there that gets to hold both of her kids at night. You did that. You were right where you needed to be.”

Becky squeezes her eyes shut and takes a shuddering breath. “I’m such a fuck up.” She whimpers before her body soon is shaking with sobs.

Sasha moves carefully onto the other side of the bed and places a hand on her girlfriend’s shoulder, easing her back until she is laying comfortably against the pillows. She reaches for her hand before intertwining their fingers, thankful when Becky doesn’t pull away.

“You’re not a fuck up. You’re a hero. Sometimes there are just really unfair consequences to being that hero.”

Despite hearing her girlfriend’s words, Becky continues to cry. She cries for Sasha and the burdened she’s unceremoniously placed upon her. Mostly, she cries for herself as she has never felt more useless and she has never hated anything more in her entire life. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I kinda moved some things around here. Semi kayfabe compliant where only the fighting and match outcomes are real and not predetermined. If that makes any sense. Figured I would need to specify that early for what I have planned moving forward :)
> 
> Sad Becky makes me sad here :( 
> 
> Hope you guys enjoyed!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A bit of a filler, enjoy guys!

_** *About Three Years Ago* ** _

”I cannot believe you. No, actually I can believe you, but still I asked you. I pleaded with you! I practically begged you not to embarrass me, and you show up like this???” 

“Will you calm down? You’re the one that’s making a scene! Plus I’m only here because you asked me to be!” 

“Not dressed like this!” 

Bayley rolls her eyes and continues to munch on her popcorn while she and Becky make their way to their seats. It had taken them much longer than normal to find their section and one would think a couple of cops would have a much better sense of direction between the two of them. 

“Sorry, sorry...” Becky mumbles to the few people they have to climb over just to make it to their seats. Sitting down with a sigh of relief, her eyes widen when she realizes just how close they really are. When she was told she would be sitting ‘ringside’ she hadn’t fully processed what that meant. 

“Wow. Kinda reminds you of the ring we have back at the academy.” Bayley states continuing to munch.

Becky hums her agreement. “Only a lot more expensive.” She adds on. She casts another look at her best friend and groans loudly. “I still cannot believe you.” 

“I fit in perfectly, thank you very much.” 

Becky scoffs and resists the urge to clock Bayley in the back of the head. When Sasha had insisted she attend the show, she had also tossed out the idea that she bring Bayley along as well as the two haven’t officially met yet. A lot of that is on Becky’s part because she’s sort of enjoyed the little bubble she and Sasha have created for one another. Nevertheless, she has agreed and Bayley had been excited to go as she had been a huge wrestling fan growing up. 

What Becky had not expected, was for Bayley to practically buy up Sasha’s entire merchandise store. While she herself is pretty comfortable in the t-shirt she had swiped from Sasha pretty early on, Bayley has gone all out decked out in ‘Boss Gear’ as she calls it. 

“I don’t know who I hate more; you for buying all of this,” Becky makes a face as she tugs at the gold chain around her partner’s neck. “Or her for being the indirect source to your madness.” 

Bayley stick out her tongue and pushes her sunglasses to the top of her head before she holds her hands out displaying the set of rings on them. “Don’t hate because I rock your girl’s merch better than you do.” 

Becky states at her for a moment before she rolls her eyes so hard she’s surprised they remain inside her head. “You have them on backwards, dumbass. It’s not ‘Boss Legit’.” 

If it weren’t for the parent already sending them both looks a row behind them, Bayley would’ve sent Becky the bird. Instead, she sticks out her tongue once more as the loud combination of pyro and crowd cheers signaling the start of the show. She lightly bounces in her seat with a childlike giddiness. 

“This is gonna be awesome.” 

It’s pretty awesome for the most part. For a majority of the time, Becky occasionally finds herself zoning in and out. There are several instances when she jumps because of Bayley’s sudden display of excitement with the rest of the crowd. She finds herself shaking her head at Bayley in more than one occasion. 

“Will you lighten up?” Bayley nudges her after the conclusion of the third or fourth match, she’s not really paying much attention. “You’ve spent the better of part of the night in a pent up ball of tension. Relax Becks.” 

“Sorry, I just...” Becky shrugs and sighs. “You know I’m here because she asked me to be, and it’s her thing you know? It’s her career! I don’t know; we’ve only been seeing each other a couple of months—”

“—in which I still haven’t met her.” 

Becky rolls her eyes and ignores the interruption. “We have only been seeing each other a couple months, but she invited me to come experience what she does and...” 

“You’re nervous because that makes it real.” Bayley interrupts her again, but this time it’s sincere as she rests a hand on Becky’s shoulder. “It’s okay dude, that’s understandable. From what I hear from you though, she seems like a great girl.” 

“She is, but what if she ends up thinking she’s slumming it, you know?” Becky holds her hands out as if gesturing to the arena around them. “She’s used to all of this; the popularity, the fans, everything. I’m not exactly the type to live up to all of that.” 

“Have your ever stopped to think, maybe she doesn’t want you to?”

“I dunno Bay. Dating a professional athlete kind of leaves you feeling some type of way about yourself.” 

“Dating???” 

Their attention is directed to the lanky looking dude on the other side of Becky who is nosily poking his head into their conversation. The two send him a joint glare and Becky has to remind herself that she can’t just go around knocking random guys teeth out for eavesdropping, no matter how bad she wants to.

Any rebuttal she had immediately dies on her lips when familiar music hits. Becky is on her feet quicker than anyone and her heart does summersaults as she watches her girl strut out onto the stage. She’s sure she looks like a little kid with the way she’s bright eyed and beaming but she couldn’t give a damn.

“Holy shit man...” Bayley murmurs also in awe. 

“Keep your eyes to yourself.” 

“Yeah try telling that to everyone in here.” 

Without looking, Becky reaches over and flips the glasses on Bayley’s head down to where they are covering her eyes. Her gaze is still on the beautiful woman who has just ducked into the ring. What surprises her though, is when Sasha looks at her directly and smiles. She lifts her hand in a small wave and Sasha sends her a wink in response. 

“Did you see that??? She winked at me!!! Sasha Banks winked at me!!!” 

Becky rolls her eyes at the loser freaking out next to her, but she doesn’t say anything. Instead, she sits in her chair and patiently waits for the match to start. She completely drones out the rest of the arena and solely places her focus on the woman who has stolen her heart in such a short amount of time. 

The next several minutes are left with Becky wincing, but barely being able to look away. It’s one thing to watch this sort of stuff on television, but to actually be present and hear how hard some hits are, send uncomfortable chills down her spine. Her eyebrows knit in concern when Sasha takes a kick from her opponent that looks like it should’ve flattened her, but somehow she’s close enough to the ropes to keep the match alive. 

“If she’s still hot after that kick I’ll give you ten dollars.” Bayley nudges her, throwing up her hands when Becky harshly swats her shoulder. “Joking! I was joking!” 

Becky returns her attention to the ring where she finds that Sasha now has her opponent in a choke hold. No, cross face. Sasha had called it a cross face. Becky can’t understand why, but she’s slowly but surely learning. 

The bell sounds and Sasha does her celebrating before she’s quickly rolling underneath the bottom rope. A wide smile is on her face as she approaches the ringside area where Becky is on her feet. “You made it.” She grins widely. 

“Promised I would.” Becky smiles back before nodding to the ring. “That’s was cool, but how’s your face?” 

“Definitely could use some ice.” Sasha chuckles while rubbing at her jaw. “I’ve gotta go, but I’ll text you how to find me. I can show you backstage if you want?” 

“Yeah, that’ll be cool.” Becky wants to lean in for a kiss, but not liking the publicity of the situation she simply reaches across and gives Sasha’s hand a gentle squeeze. 

The two share a soft moment before Sasha is making her way back up the ramp leaving Becky looking incredibly love struck. A dopey smile is on her face and it takes Bayley several moments to get her attention. 

“You my friend, have definitely been struck by the arrow.” She chuckles, clapping Becky on the shoulder. “You’ve done good though. She’s cute.” 

“She’s incredible.” Becky whispers more to herself than to anyone else. She risks an glances to the idiot on her left and she can’t help the satisfied smirk that graces her lips at the completely dumbfounded look on his face. Finally, she nudges Bayley to stand up. “C’mon, we’re gonna go meet up with her soon. Just please don’t embarrass me.” 

* * *

_***Present*** _

Sasha has a headache that she hasn’t been able to shake. For the past several hours, she’s been checking and rechecking her phone for any text from Bayley, but she hasn’t received anything outside of the ‘Everything’s cool’ she got just over a couple of hours ago. The messages before that had been the ones telling her to relax, which she hasn’t. 

“You okay there, Boss?” 

Sasha looks up from her phone to find Charlotte watching her expectantly. She’s thankful she doesn’t see pity in her best friend’s eyes, but the look of concern still leaves her feeling a little bit like a child. Eventually, she just bites her lip and shakes her head. 

It’s only been a few short days that she’s left home to return to work and still she doesn’t feel the passion or fire she thought she would. Even returning as the champion, something just hasn’t been sitting right. In truth, Becky had been the one insisting she go back and it was a short series of arguments that eventually had her relenting. 

Sasha stares at her belt and it stares right back almost as if it’s making fun of her. While she was at home, she barely even looked at the damn thing, and now she feels like she knows why. Sighing quietly, she picks it up and swings it over her shoulder. She casts a forlorn look at Charlotte and shakes her head again before she exists the locker room.

Her walk through backstage is longer than she would like and she finds herself forcing smiles and nods to those welcoming her back, but they don’t know. None of them know. But they will. 

She waits patiently before she is cued to make her entrance and she barely even registers the crowd noise as she makes her way out into the stage. It’s amazing how something can seem so familiar and foreign at the exact same time. Absent is her usual swagger and instead, she simply walks down the ramp, keeping her eyes dead ahead to the empty ring. Entering the ring, her expression is neutral as she squats down to pick up the mic waiting for her in the corner. 

As her music and the crowd simultaneously die down, Sasha takes several much needed deep breaths to gather herself. She clutches the mic in a death grip and brings it closer to her face, hesitating several times before she says anything. 

“Many of you have been wondering where I’ve been,” she begins. “There have been rumors and speculations and honestly nothing has even come close to the truth. It amazes me how things manage to circulate so quickly and become labeled as truth, despite there being next to no evidence of anything at all. So...here I am, back in this ring, but I’m not here to address you as Sasha Banks, Raw Women’s Champion. I’m here as just Sasha.” 

“In my absence I have been forced to learn that anyone can become a victim of circumstances and there’s not anything we can do about it. I...I’ve also learned that time is important and the time we spend with the ones we love is so often taken for granted,” she pauses and takes a shaking deep breath. Tears form at the corners of her eyes and she’s thankful she can use the crowd’s applause as means to pause and gather herself. She doesn’t reach up and wipe at her tears, instead, she forces herself to continue. 

“There is someone very close to me and I have realized my time with them is something I had definitely taken for granted. We have both become a victim of circumstances and right now I can’t let that time be wasted, not when they need me. I’ve made the decision that I’m going to take that time and be where I’m needed the most.” 

Sasha stops and shrugs the title off her shoulder and stares at it longingly for a moment. “Which means that this...should belong to someone else,” she concludes as she carefully places the belt on the mat. She does the same with the mic after a few moments of contemplates before she slips out of the ring and makes her way up the ramp. 

“Thank you, Sasha!” 

The audience chant and subsequent clapping is enough to make her tears fall once again. She lift an arm and manages to wave just before she ducks backstage to conceal her emotions. Immediately, she is met with a torrent of shocked faces. She pushes through the small gathering and is thankful when strong arms engulf her completely. 

“You don’t have to explain anything to anyone.” Charlotte whispers, dropping a kiss to the top of Sasha’s head. “You take as much time as you need, okay?” 

Sasha clutches Charlotte’s robe so tight it’s a wonder she doesn’t rip right through it. Her body continues to shake as she sobs heavily, not even giving a single care as to who might be watching.

* * *

_“Which means that this...should belong to someone else...”_

“No! No! No! What the fuck is she doing!?”

The exclamation startles Bayley who is in the kitchen prepping dinner. She rushes back into the living room, and her brow knots in concern when she spots Becky on the couch gesturing wildly at the television.

“Becks, what’s going on?”

“What is she doing!? Sasha, what are you doing!?”

Bayley’s attention is brought to the television broadcasting the night’s episode of Raw. Her eyebrows lift when she takes in Sasha’s tear stained face and the title left lying in the ring. Her eyes widen as they dart between Becky and the television.

Becky grits her teeth and tries to reach for her phone that’s a little too far away. The action causes her to tip a little too far and she ends up sliding off the edge of the couch.

“Fuck!”

Bayley acts quickly and moves to help her friend from the floor back onto the sofa. She quickly gives her a once over for injuries before she reaches over and grabs Becky’s phone. Her confusion, is still evident, but she waits patiently as Becky hastily swipes at her phone.

“I can’t believe she did that.” Becky grumbles, bringing the phone to her ear. She swears again when her call immediately goes to voicemail. 

“Becks what...happened?” Bayley asks carefully, sending a nod to the tv.

Becky tries calling a few more time before she throws down her phone and lets her head thump against the cushions. “She gave up her title.”

“What?” 

“Sasha just gave up her title. From what it sounded like, I-I think she’s planning on coming home.” 

“Well, that’s great right?” 

Becky becomes angry and she levels Bayley with a harsh look. “No! It’s not! We talked about this! She and I fucking talked about it and I told her she needed to go back and live out her dream.” 

Bayley sighs and takes a seat next to her seething partner. “Maybe because her dream is right here?” 

“Don’t give me that fucking sentimental shit right now. You have no idea how badly she wanted this and how long it took her to claw her way there. I told her she needed to go back and do what she loves. I’m fine here. I...god, she’s so stubborn.” 

“You both are.” Bayley supplies with a hum. “Right now you’re angry so give it some time before you call and start screaming at her? I’m sure Sasha has her reasons for what she did, and you owe it to her to at least hear her out.” 

Becky shakes her head before dropping it into her hands. She’s spent every single day since her accident loathing how she managed to ruin her own life, not even thinking about how the consequences subsequently ruined her girlfriend’s as well. How badly Sasha must hate her for it, and Becky honestly can’t say that she blames her. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ohhhh what do we think of Sasha’s decision? How’s that gonna fair when she gets home? 
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This ended up being much heavier than I originally intended so eesh, hold on.

“How...long have you been an officer?”

Silence. Nothing but silence. The ticking of the small clock on the wall may as well sound like a clock at grand central station with the way the noise bounces off the walls of the room. Who knew such a small sound could make the silence even louder and more heavy? 

“Would you say you enjoy your job? What you do for people?” 

Becky doesn’t respond, she only continues to stare past the solemn looking woman sitting directly in front of her. Her eyes are cold and dead and it’s almost as if she is looking straight through the doctor into the unknown. 

The doctor continues to stare back. She crosses and uncrosses her legs and readjusts her notepad on her lap. If one were to flip through the pages, they would find that they are actually blank save for the date scrawled at the very top. 

“What is it that you want most, right now?” 

Becky’s eyes shift only slightly, but it’s just enough to finally make eye contact with the doctor who sits poised to write. She licks her lips and shakes her head absently before eyes once again begin to wander away.

“To be enough.”

* * *

**_*Flashback*_ **

Becky has never felt more nervous in all her days. Not even when she had first applied to join Boston PD, not when she had been accepted, not when she had gone through the academy, and certainly not when she was first sent out on call all by herself. Those situations all equate to euphoric excitement, but this time...this time was much different. This time she feels like a twelve year old school kid who’s two seconds from losing her lunch. 

Her hands are unusually sweaty and clammy while she fumbles with her phone to double check for the hundredth time that she has the right address. Peering outside, the home is small and modest, but still in a much nicer neighborhood than she’s able to afford with her salary. A shaky breath escapes her when she again confirms that she’s at the right place. 

“Okay, it’s cool. It’s fine. You’ve done this before,” she pauses her murmuring to herself as she slides out of her jeep, just barely managing to not trip herself in the process. “It’s just...been a while.” 

She double checks herself and wipes her nervously sweaty hands on her pants before she reaches over the center console to grab the small bouquet resting in the passenger seat. Immediately, she hates how the trembling of the flowers highlights just how much she’s shaking. 

“You’ve really gotta pull it together. Nothing about this is even remotely attractive. Look at you, you’re fucking shaking for fucks sake! There’s no way she’s gonna wanna even leave her house at this point, much less spend the entire evening with you, ya fucking loser.” 

Her self mumbling happens all the way to the front door where she soon finds herself becoming incredibly hesitant. Raising her first to knock, she pauses and slowly lowers it before shaking her head. 

“This is insane,” she huffs quietly. It takes her several moments before she builds the courage to lightly rap on the front door. Immediately, she winces when she realizes that she could’ve just opted to ring the doorbell instead, perhaps that would’ve come off as less invasive. 

Swallowing the lump in her throat, Becky shifts from foot to foot while silently talking herself out of bolting right back to her car and driving to the nearest bar to drown her sorrows in half price whiskey. She awkwardly tugs at the tie around her neck the she’s sure she did a piss poor job of tying. Just as she is about to let her internal yelling win out, the door swings open and Becky is actually self aware of the way her jaw nearly scrapes the ground. 

Sasha’s hair is side swept into purple waves that flow neatly over her shoulder. Around her neck is a shimmering crystal necklace that immediately sends Becky’s gaze towards a plunging neckline of the black dress that stops just above the knee. Becky forces eyes not to look any further lest she end up swallowing her tongue. 

“Hi,” Sasha says smugly having noticed the way the other woman’s eyes were wandering. A quiet giggle escapes her when she steps forward and taps Becky’s mouth shut. “Didn’t your mother ever tell you it was rude to stare?”

Becky’s face turns so red she’s almost crimson and she finds herself fumbling for words. “I-I it is! I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to I just...you...” 

Sasha quirks an eyebrow at the rambling but still a curious smile is on her face. “Relax, I’m only teasing you,” she offers, giving Becky’s arm a gentle squeeze as she hadn’t meant to fluster her that much. 

Still blushing, Becky nods and suddenly remembers the flowers she’s almost crushing in her fist. “Here, um, these are for you. I wasn’t sure what kind to get so I figured these were safe to go with...since I didn’t know your favorite and all.”

“They’re beautiful,” Sasha grins as she accepts the half dozen bouquet of roses. “You can come in for a sec while I put these in water and then we can head out?” 

Becky nods and hesitantly steps in through the doorway. Immediately she is taking in the place and she can’t help but take notice of how homey it feels despite only having a single occupant. Well, what she thought was a single occupant. Small patters grabs her attention and she looks down to find a wide eyed corgi beaming back at her expectantly. The corgi quickly circles around her feet while sniffing and lightly pawing at her shoes. 

“Ryu, no!” 

Sasha’s exclamation seemingly grabs the dog’s attention and he immediately takes at least a good two steps away from Becky who is now laughing openly. 

“Sorry about him,” Sasha huffs before she kneels down to intercept her dog. “He likes new people and he can get a little too excited sometimes.” 

“It’s alright, he wasn’t bothering me,” Becky smiles as she reaches out to gently scratch Ryu’s ears. She’s rewarded with a small yip and nuzzle to her fingers. “He’s yours?”

“Yep. He’s my baby,” Sasha grins and gives Ryu a squeeze that eventually leaves him trying to wiggle free. She laughs and sets him down, unsurprised when he darts off somewhere else in the house. “Most times he travels with me or he stays with friends, but I always make time for him. He’ll be fine by himself tonight though. So...dinner?” 

“Dinner,” Becky repeats with a nod as the two exit the house to make their way back towards Becky’s car. She opens the passenger door and helps Sasha with the high step up inside, before she walks around to the driver’s side. 

“Have you ever been to a Hibachi grill before?” She asks once clicking her seatbelt. 

“I haven’t, but I’m definitely excited to try it,” Sasha’s smile remains present but curious at the way she notices Becky gripping the steering well. She reaches out and gently pries a hand from the death grip. “Hey, you don’t have to be nervous about tonight, okay? I wouldn’t have said yes if I didn’t want to be here.”

Though she’s still thoroughly embarrassed, Becky nods and manages to relax just a tiny bit. She offers Sasha an assuring and thankful smile before she starts her car and pulls out of the driveway. It’s everything she can do but to hope that she doesn’t some how up making a complete fool of herself by the end of the night. 

Thankfully, the night goes smoothly for the both of them. It has only taken Becky a just a little bit of time to find herself relaxing back into her usual confidence and overall dinner was going great. Much better than she initially thought it would have what with her fumbling all over the place. 

“I’ve never had them cook my food at the table like that before,” Sasha beams brightly after they have been left to their own devices to enjoy the rest of their meal. 

“Really? I would’ve thought you would’ve tried some of everything with all the traveling you do,” Becky answers back.

Sasha shrugs and an almost absent look passive over her face before it’s gone. Still though, she becomes entranced by the way her wine swishes around the sides of her glass when she swirls it. 

“Sometimes I do, but most times it’s like there isn’t any time. A lot of the time I’m hopping from city to city so fast that I rarely get to take time to enjoy the place that I’m at.” 

Becky’s brow furrows as she hadn’t even realized how much time Sasha must rarely get at her own home. “That...sounds incredibly tough. I had no idea,” she pauses and awkwardly rubs at the back of her neck. “You’ll probably think I’m stupid for saying this, but I didn’t realize how much traveling went into what you do.” 

“You’re not stupid at all,” Sasha reassures her. “It’s still a sport, but it’s different in the sense that we don’t get home games or a home stadium. We go wherever shows are booked. I’m lucky if we even have a show here for once maybe twice out of the year.” 

“You’re only home twice a year???”

“No, no, I find time to come home and I’m granted time every now and again.” 

“Still,” Becky blows out a puff of air as shestill can’t even imagine it. “I don’t know very much about wrestling...or anything really. I’m not going to try to embarrass myself just to impress you with knowledge that I definitely only got from Google.”

At this, Sasha laughs openly. “Please tell me you didn’t Google me to eventually end up repeating my Wikipedia page back to me?” 

Becky also laughs and shrugs. “I might’ve spent just a little bit of time on your page, but I wasn’t planning on repeating anything back! And I only looked because my friend made me. I really just wanna get to know you. The real you.” A pause and she begins to panic. “Not that that isn’t the real you! I just meant the you that...I mean...” 

“You didn’t ask The Legit Boss on a date, you asked Sasha,” Sasha smiles warmly and reaches across to give Becky’s hand a squeeze. “So...Sasha is who you’re gonna get to know.” 

“So far, I think Sasha is pretty cool,” Becky returns the squeeze. 

She soon finds herself happy that her nervous have finally evaporated completely for the first time that night. As they continue to chat and familiarize themselves with one another, she can’t help but feel a little giddy at the idea that maybe she has earned herself a second date.

* * *

_** *Present*  ** _

There’s talking from the television, and while she’s paying attention, she isn’t even filtering in anything that’s being said. She feint feels lightly nibbling at her fingers and she glances to her left only to find Ryu attempting to get her attention. Huffing, she wafts her hand and he shrinks and retreats to the farther end of the couch. Becky glares at him for a short moment before turning her attention back to the screen. 

“This has been a hell of a tournament. All of these women going in with one thing on their mind; the women’s title.” 

“Yeah and we’ve really cut it down to the wire here.” 

“Just to remind everyone, we’re here in the final goings to determine who will become the new holder of the Raw Women’s Championship. A title that was left vacant some short weeks ago by previous champion, Sasha Banks.” 

“The title was vacated for reasons only known to The Boss herself, but let me tell you the announcement rocked the entire women’s division and had left everyone here desperate for the opportunity.”

“And now we are just down to two. Alexa Bliss and Charlotte Flair.” 

“Listen, I know we’re not supposed to pick favorites, but after everything I’ve seen in this tournament—”

The sudden muting of the television snaps Becky out of her reverie and she looks up to find her girlfriend tiredly staring at the tv with the remote still pointed outward. For the longest of times, she says nothing, but eventually a long suffering sigh escapes her lips. 

“If I’m not even bothering to watch this, why are you?” Sasha implores with a shake of her head. 

Becky simply shrugs and turns her attention back to the screen. Though it’s muted and Sasha has the remote too far away for her to even attempt to get it back, she still absently loses herself in the match taking place. 

Sasha too, for a brief moment takes in the state of the match. Her eyes nearly get lost in the back of her head at the sight of Lacey Evans popping off at the mouth at ringside when Alexa managed a near fall in Charlotte. She can’t exactly pinpoint when this pain in the ass partnership formed, but she’s sure she can locate it right around the time the both of them were trashing her name around on Twitter. If anything, Sasha’s glad she muted the tv right now.

Still though, she finally turns her attention back to her girlfriend who is sitting nearly ramrod straight in her wheelchair backed against the couch. Her heart breaks at the dark circles underneath Becky’s eyes, no doubt from the lack of sleep. She’s also noticing a slight change in her overall build, just from being confined so long.

“You’ve been giving me the silent treatment since I came home,” Sasha sighs quietly. “You’ve been giving everyone the silent treatment. You won’t talk to me, or Bayley...or your therapist.”

Becky clenches her jaw. “Why would you know if I talk to my therapist? She’s not supposed to say anything.”

Sasha frowns, but keeps her emotions in check for now. “She doesn’t have anything to say! You’ve been going every other day and every other day you leave without having answered any of her questions. Becky, how is she expected to help you when you won’t let her?”

“I don’t need the help. I don’t need to be there talking to her in the first place. I’m fine.”

“You’re not fine! I have hell on earth getting you to eat anything, you spend most of your time just sitting here in front of the tv that’s sometimes not even on! You’re shutting Bayley out. Bayley, your partner who has stopped at almost nothing to make sure we’ve got everything we need here and she still blames herself for what happened to you. You’re shutting me out. I want to help, but I just need something from you! I’m trying my best to help you, but I don’t know how!”

“Maybe I don’t want your fucking help!” Becky’s yelling takes the both of them off guard but nevertheless, she continues. “I don’t want to be your fucking pity case! I don’t want you to fucking help me! I don’t need to sit in some clowns office and talk about my fucking feelings! I just need to focus on getting to the point where we can both go back to how things were! I don’t need you to fucking help me!”

Sasha feels tears at bay as she drags her hand through her hair in frustration. “Becky you can’t...I have to help you out of bed every morning! I help you to the bathroom, in the bath, I help you put on your clothes!” She pauses to take a much needed deep breath. “Becky you...you’re disabled. To the point where people have to help you. And I know that scares you and I know how angry that makes you, but that’s where we are right now.”

Becky is seething as she has to blink back her own tears. Her gaze is harsh and blazing as she turns to look at Sasha directly. “Why did you leave your job?”

Sasha blinks rapidly, completely taken aback by the question. “I—what? You asked me that the day I came home and I told you why. Hell, I basically told everyone why! I wanted to be here with you. I want to take care of you.”

“Because I’m pathetic.”

“That is...you know good and damn well that is not what I said. You need me right now Becky. They can find a new fucking poster girl for that belt right now. You need me here.”

“You’re wrong. I don’t need you.”

The words are cold and Sasha swears she feels them go straight through her heart. Her tears fall steadily and freely. “I—I want to help you, but I can’t drag you out of this hole you’re in. You’ve gotta help me.” 

Losing the battle with her own tears, Becky simply shakes her head. She says nothing as she slowly begins head towards the spare bedroom that she’s been occupying since she can’t make it up the stairs. She doesn’t even look up as she wheels right past Sasha and into the room where she slams the door behind her.

The noise startles Ryu who bolts off the couch and over to where Sasha has sunk down onto the floor. She allows him to occupy her lap while she heaves for a few seconds before she is overcome with sobs. Normally she prides herself on being a fighter, she’s just not sure how much fight she’s going to have left.

* * *

_“Is there a reason you’re pushing her away?”_

“She’s not...she...she deserves better than this. She can’t throw everything away just for me.”

_“She’s doing it because she loves you.”_

“She doesn’t...”

_“She does. Otherwise she would’ve left. She wouldn’t have come home.”_

“She can’t love me. Not like this...not like anything. How can she?”

_“How can she not?”_

“I’m nothing compared to her. A nobody. She deserves more than a nobody.”

_“You’ve been together for years. You bought a house together. You have a dog. You share a life. Don’t you think she would’ve left instead of wasting her time? She loves you.”_

_**“She pities you. That’s why she’s stayed. You’re pathetic and she feels sorry for you.”** _

_“No, no she loves—”_

**_“She doesn’t fucking love you. How could she? Look at you! Can’t even go and take a fucking piss on your own. How fucking pathetic. You think she enjoys helping you with that?”_ **

“She hates me.”

**_“Damn right she fucking hates you.She just had the biggest moment of her whole life and you fucking ruined that. She hates your guts for it. Maybe you should’ve died out there in the rain. She would’ve been free to find someone better.”_ **

“I can be better.”

**_“No you can’t. You won’t. You never have been better and never will be. You’ve known from the start that she was too good for you and still you went and wasted her damn time anyway. Selfish. Pathetic. You honestly think this is where she wants to be right now?”_ **

“No I—does she love me? Does she really love me?”

_“She does.”_

**_“She doesn’t.”_ **

“Okay...” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> not gonna lie I think this was the first chapter I actually did lose it on and I had to fight my way through my own waterworks to finish it. I’m really glad you guys are enjoying this one! Stay tuned for more!


	7. Chapter 7

**_*Flashback*_ **

“Bravo on me.” 

“Roger.” 

“I’ll take point. Cover the flank and wait for my signal.” 

“Aye, Sarge.” 

Eyes narrowing into the darkness, she gives the man in front of her a solid tap on the shoulder. “Aye, let’s push.” 

Her team of eight including herself, one in front and six behind, move carefully up to the residence. They move as a unit in a solid line, led by a burley man with a shield. As they near the side wall of the residence, she raises a fist. 

“Hold here,” she pauses briefly before addressing the rest of her team. “We have two points of entry. I want four in the front and four in the back. Mind your fire. We’ve got friendlies inside. Only shoot if you’re a hundred percent fucking sure you have to. Am I clear?” 

“Roger!” 

“Alright, lets move!” 

The next several minutes all pass by in a blur. It’s almost akin to scene from an action film. Guns at the ready, the team breaches through their designated entry points, sweeping through the residence quickly and efficiently. The round up is flawless and thankfully, not a single weapon is fired. 

Outside, Becky exits the house and removes her helmet. With her rifle strapped over her shoulder, she gives a nod of respectful affirmation as her team rounds up the drug cell the department has been after for months. Lord knows she’s worked enough endless hours doing what she can to follow up on any leads they might’ve had. Investigators and officers begin to move to secure the scene following their successful take down. 

A smile appears on Becky’s face as she watches her best friend and partner slowly getting out of a squad car. “You’re a little late, eh? Could’ve used your hand in there.” 

Bayley rolls her eyes and waves Becky off. “Something tells me with an ego the size of yours, you had everything under control,” she pauses to look Becky up and down. “Thought you gave up on the whole scary SWAT thing.” 

Becky shrugs. “They needed the leadership and I have the training so I volunteered on this one. I had been out on a few of the calls related to it anyway so I was familiar with the case. Figured it was only right I help shut it down. I tell you what though, I definitely could use a drink after. How long you gonna be here?” 

“Not long I’m sure. Looks like they’ve got enough bodies to ward off the media or any nosy neighbors, but...” Bayley raises a quizzical eyebrow. “Shouldn’t you have been home long before now?” 

Becky frowns and angles her head to the side. “What’re you talking about?” 

Bayley clicks her tongue and begins to laugh. “Whoa man...you are gonna get it.” 

Still confused, Becky slowly begins to shake her head. “Bay, I don’t...” she trails off and her eyes widen. “Bayley...what day is it?” 

“Well Sergeant, it appears to me that it’s Friday.” 

“Shit! Shit! Oh shit!” 

Bayley can’t help but burst out laughing as Becky darts off towards the SWAT truck in full gear and all. “Make sure to pick up flowers!” She calls after her retreating friend who flips her the bird. “Oh she’s gonna be in so much trouble.” 

* * *

Becky has never felt more nervous walking up to her own apartment. She smoothes back her hair as best she can, despite it being damp from the in-and-out shower she took back at the station. She checks her watch and grimaces as she realizes how late it really is. 

“Alright, here we go,” she whispers before putting the key in the door. 

When she enters her apartment, the first thing she notices is how good it smells and how warm it feels. The feeling almost brings a smile to her face, but it’s immediately dropped when she reaches the dining room and she notices the table is still set for two. The only things out of place is the candle in the center that has long since melted all the way down to the wick and the single untouched glass of wine. Moving through the kitchen proves no different as everything seems to be spotless and put together almost as if it had been recently cleaned. 

Becky can hear the faint noise of the television coming from the bedroom, and she takes her time to carefully push the door open. When she peaks inside, she finds her girlfriend sitting up against the headboard with her arms tightly folded while she stares dead ahead at the television. Becky tries to put on her best smile as she enters the room. 

“Hi Sweetheart.” 

Sasha’s eyes narrow and dart away from the television. Her glare is ice cold as she doesn’t move, but instead continues to stare holes into the other woman. It’s not the least bit of encouraging and it’s not meant to be. 

Becky grins and holds up the bouquet of roses she’s clutching tightly in hand. “I um, I brought these for you.” 

Sasha stares at the flowers offered to her across the bed. She reaches out for them and holds them for a moment before she’s suddenly throwing them across the room. Soon, she returns to her icy expression of staring at the television. 

Becky, having been startled by the action, groans quietly. “Sasha, I’m so sorry.” 

“You forgot.” It isn’t a question but a statement, and the coldness of Sasha’s words match her expression. 

“Babe I didn’t—” 

“DO NOT lie to me. You forgot. Didn’t you?” 

Becky snaps her mouth shut and hangs her head in shame. Unable to say anything else, she sighs quietly before nodding. Her grimace returns when there’s a rustle of sheets and the sound of feet quickly padding in her direction. The shove that follows isn’t surprising. 

“I can’t believe you!” Sasha shrieks. “We’ve been planning this for months! And you have no idea the hell that I had to go through to get this time off! All of that and you fucking forget!?” 

“M’sorry...” 

“And you weren’t even answering your fucking phone! Where were you!?” 

“I was working...” Becky admits quietly. “A SWAT call went out and I volunteered to-”

“You volunteered!?” 

_‘Right. Fuck me. Bury yourself deeper, Rebecca...’_

Shaking her head in disbelief, Sasha begins to pace. “I can’t believe you,” she repeats, still shaking her head. “You volunteered to stay longer at work knowing it was our anniversary. No! You didn’t volunteer knowing it was our anniversary, because you FORGOT.” 

Shoulders slumped, Becky can only nod along in agreement. “I know. I really screwed up, Lass. I know an I’m sorry isn’t gonna cut it right now. I’ll spend the next few days making it up to you.” 

“You’re fucking worthless.” 

Becky frowns and her gaze quickly snaps up to meet Sasha’s. “What did you say?” She asks carefully. 

“I said you fucking better,” Sasha repeats herself. Her scowl of anger slowly morphs into a frown of concern with the way Becky is looking at her. “Becky?” 

“What?” 

“Why are you being an idiot?” 

“I’m not an idiot.” 

Sasha blinks slowly. “I...never said that you were. I asked if you’re alright,” she slowly steps closer to eye her girlfriend carefully. “What’s going on with you?” 

Becky’s eyes remain wide as she slowly shakes her head. “Nothing I’m just...I’m super tired and I realized I haven’t eaten much today.” 

“Come on then,” Sasha sighs as she reaches out to grab her girlfriend’s hand before she is dragging her back to the kitchen. “No matter how badly I really wanna punch you, you need to eat. I’ll warm you up something.” 

Becky nods absently as she finds herself seated at the dining table. She drops her head into her hands and tried to fight if not only the exhaustion, but whatever is going on in her head. 

* * *

**_*Present*_ **

“Let me know if you get tired and want me to push you.” 

“I think I’ve got it.” 

Sasha only nods. The response lacks its usual bite that she’s come to know when interacting with her girlfriend, but instead it’s replaced by defeated exhaustion. That’s not something Sasha is used to and honestly it is almost worse that than the snapping. 

They’re out taking a walk around their neighborhood. It was mostly Sasha’s idea really because she needed to walk Ryu anyway, but she had extended the idea to Becky as well. What had surprised Sasha was how Becky had seemed to agree to the idea almost without thought. It’s a step in the right direction, that’s for sure. 

Sasha works to keep pace with Becky who continues to wheel herself down the sidewalk. On occasion, Sasha will have to give Ryu’s leash a little tug as he starts to get a little too far ahead of them. On one occasion, Ryu gets fed up with the tug of war and he opts to lay down in the center of the sidewalk all while looking back up at Sasha defiantly. 

“I know you did not...” Sasha rolls her eyes and tugs on the leash. “Get up! I’m not doing this with you right now.” 

Becky snorts at the exchange and she uses the brief pause to rest her arms. It’s been so long since she’s felt herself smile that she honestly has forgotten what it feels like. It’s small, but it’s there. 

“You spoil him too much,” Becky chuckles quietly when Sasha eventually picks Ryu up. Surprisingly, she extends her arms and offers to hold him the rest of the way if Sasha is willing to push her. 

“You say as you opt to carry him home,” Sasha laughs back as she begins pushing the wheelchair. 

Becky gently scratches Ryu’s ears and makes a face when he sits up enough to lick her chin. “I guess you could say he and I have that in common.” 

“I guess you could,” Sasha pauses and lets the silence fall comfortably between them before she carefully presses on. “How are you feeling? After your appointment today? You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to. I’m not trying to force you.” 

Becky feels a lump in her throat, and it takes a lot in her to swallow it. “I uh, it went well. Doc looked at my scans and told me there’s another option. If I wanna take it.” 

Sasha raises her eyebrows in surprise as this is the first she’s heard of this. “What’s...the other option?” 

“It’s a surgery,” Becky begins with a shrug. “He looked at my scans and saw my progress is slow, but there’s progress. Guess he saw something he didn’t see before and there’s a surgery he’s willing to try. But...it’s risky.”

“How risky?” 

“If it works it means I’m several steps closer to walking again. If it doesn’t then...I’m probably going to be in this thing the rest of my life.” 

“That’s what I was afraid of,” Sasha mumbles but it’s mostly to herself. “So what do you want to do?” 

Becky shakes her head. “I mean the way I see it, it’s already possible I could stay like this so why not, right? But at the same time...what if the surgery somehow makes it worse? I don’t know. It’s a lot to think about.”

“Have you...thought much about it?”

“I have, but I’ve still got time to make a decision.”

Sasha nods and reaches down toward Becky’s shoulder. She hesitates for a moment before giving it a gentle squeeze. Her heart sinks when she can practically feel the tension in the muscles there. “I’ll be right here whatever you decide.”

Becky’s face is full of guilt and she’s thankful that Sasha is behind her and can’t see her face. It’s a familiar feeling she always gets when Sasha brings up being here. “You haven’t gotten bored yet?”

“I’m doing what I can to stay occupied,” Sasha shrugs semi nonchalantly. “Working out with Bayley has kind of helped make sure I stay on track.”

“How is she?” Becky asks carefully. She hasn’t seen much of her best friend since she lashed out in one of her fits and told Bayley she didn’t need her either. From there, Bayley had decided to give her just a little bit of space and all the time she needed. 

Sasha can sense the guilt radiating off her girlfriend and she gives her shoulders another squeeze. “She’s good. She misses her best friend,” she pauses and nervously chews her lip. “I think maybe the two of you should hang out soon. It might be good for the both of you.” 

“And what about you?” 

“What about me?” 

“You spend all your time at home too. The only time you really leave is if you go out to the store or to pick up my medication. Other than that, you’re home just as much as I am,” Becky pauses mid question as she prepares to ask something that’s been on her mind for a while, but she has been clouded by so much anger she hasn’t much asked. Now, she feels like she doesn’t have a choice. 

Taking a deep breath, she begins. “Sasha, what if I really am stuck like this for the rest of my life?” 

“Then I’ll help you,” Sasha answers back quickly as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world.

Becky tilts her head back to look at Sasha as best she can. “But then...will you ever wrestle again?”

Sasha’s mouth forms a thin line and she keeps her eyes forward. She should have known that the conversation was eventually going to some how circle back to her and her career. It always does, and every single time she has to do her absolute best to deflect. She doesn’t even realize how long she’s gone silent before Becky is calling to her.

“Sasha?”

“Yeah?”

“What about wrestling?”

Sasha nervously bites down on her lower lip, because it hurts. God does it hurt and god does she miss it, but right now isn’t exactly the time to be worried about such things. She’s thought about it, a lot. What if Becky will require full time care? What if this is going to become their new normal? Their new future? It’s all been so much to think about. Lord knows she’s spent plenty of time crying to Mella and Charlotte on the phone about it. 

Then there’s the weight of the world knowing she left, but not having any idea why. The amount of rumors have flourished past the level of ridiculous and Charlotte has had to talk her of the ledge many of times at she has threatened to go off on so many people. Her in ring nemeses included. Charlotte had to remind her she’s better than that and her privacy is importance above all else. Damn what anybody says. Sasha has agreed, but sigh each passing day it’s becoming more and more difficult.

Realizing she still hasn’t answered Becky’s question, she can only sigh. “Wrestling is probably one of the last things on my mind right now.”

It’s a lie and they both know it, but neither can bring herself to say anything about it. Becky’s heart sinks just a little as she thinks about a few days ago when she caught Sasha downstairs watching some of her old matches. She had been so focused on the television that she hadn’t heard Becky push the door open and poke her head out. Even from far away, Becky could see the tear stains on her girlfriend’s cheeks.

“I think I want to try the surgery...” she mumbles as they are just about home and making their way up their driveway. Becky looks down and rolls her eyes when she finds that Ryu has fallen asleep in her lap.

Sasha’s eyebrows furrow. “You’ve still got some time to think about it.”

“I know...” Becky mumbles back. “But it’ll be best for both of us is I try. Please, it’s my fault that we’re here. Please let me...let me do this for us.”

Sasha can only nod. While she should feel ecstatic, Becky’s words have left her feeling just a bit uneasy. While she’s thankful that Becky is actually communicating with her instead of shutting herself off in her room for all hours of the day, only calling out when she needs sketching, Sasha still feels that something is off and for the life of her, she can’t exactly figure out what it is. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah this update was long overdue friends. Sorry about that. Everything has been happening so much, but I hope everyone out there is doing okay despite the craziness of the world. 
> 
> Thanks for sticking around! Leave your thoughts


End file.
